My Promise to Love You
by MaysileeAbernathy
Summary: A sequel to Stuck. Jacob and Bella are engaged. As Edward swore never to see her again, Bella is horrified. When Bella visits Forks during college, the love triangle once again heightens. Will Jacob have a choice when Bella's decision may not be him?
1. Preface

**P R E F A C E**

Now I could really tell that I was destined for death. I mean, we all die but I assured myself that my death would be different.

And more painful.

I watched as they protected me, their arms forming a circle. From their chests erupted loud growls, my mind hoping that the enemy would cower away from the sound.

_I'm going to die, I'm going to die. _I repeated.

The more they growled, the more that the enemies were provoked. I wanted them to stop and just come after what they want: me.

Is it so hard for them to do such a thing? Just hand me over to them, I want to say but no matter how much I've argued to them about this, I would never be followed.

The sudden worry and pain entered in my mind, fresh and new. It was the same that I've experienced in the past year, only worse. There wasn't a gun on anybody's hand or blood scattering all over the wet, damp ground. There were only growls—ear-shattering growls.

A fresh stream of tears went down my cheeks. Why me? Of all the people in the world, why me? If I didn't have anyone then my life would have been normal and easy.

But after it all, I'm thankful. In my life, I've never wanted death to come later when I'm old and weak—I wanted it to happen when I want it. It's useless to live a life when you can't live with it yourself.

Another loud, thundering growl erupted into the air, making me snap back to reality. This time, the growl was neither one of my protectors. The growl belonged to the black wolf with gold streaks, I knew pretty well who he was. His eyes bore into mine, shooting invisible daggers at my direction.

"Just give her to me and I'll be gone." A soft and soothing voice said. My head snapped to the right as I heard her, my eyes widening in disbelief.

Her hair was wildly being thrown around like uncontrollable flames, her eyes a more grueling crimson than the last time I saw her. There was a menacing smile on her face as my eyes mirrored recognition.

Death was coming to me soon. I could feel it—two enemies clashing into one point of my life just for my death. I felt really special right now. Like a fugitive, a target.

"You're not touching her." Jacob spat at Victoria, his hands holding mine.

"Don't talk to me, wolf." Edward said through clenched teeth, facing the black wolf. "I won't lay any mercy on you, I swear."

I suddenly felt insecure about all this. This was all going too fast. In less than five minutes, I will die. That felt like a small amount of time to tell Jacob how much I loved him.

"Oh, she's mine alright." Victoria said in a high-pitched voice. She coiled into a small figure and sprang up above Jacob's head, making me scream.

At that exact moment, I felt my life rush away from my weak, human hands.


	2. Prologue

P R O L O G U E

When a heart beats for the one you love, you can never stop it.

You can't stop your heart no matter how much you try but why does it work for me?

I loved _him _but when he left, I had no choice but to let go. Now that I had someone else, someone _better_, I could not let go. I couldn't force it.

I've created a viable solution-turned-query in my head: do I only give up loving when the other one does?

It seemed silly, really. I've looked at the logic and proved my solution true. So what if Edward had never stopped fighting for me, would I have loved him still? Would I have held on? But what if Jacob was the one to let go of me, would I stop loving him?

The questions seemed to go round and round inside my head the more I think about it.

_Stop. Just stop. _I thought to myself.

The ring on my finger suddenly felt heavier, I can barely lift my finger with it.

So where do I stand now? I've loved Edward, yes, but the question is: am I honest and loyal to Jacob? Do I still love Edward?

The answers in my head are pretty obvious. The tiny voice inside my head is screaming it loudly.

_Yes, _I am honest and loyal to Jacob and _no, _I don't love Edward.

I trusted myself with this answer now. I will forever be in love with Jacob even if he leaves me. There was an invisible steel cable that bound us together and in fact, to top it all off, there's another layer of metal locks holding us together.

There was no doubt in that. It was sheer truth. It was no lie. It was true because I _agreed. _

I agreed to be his love. I agreed to be his wife. I agreed to be his one and only.

My eyes cleared up as I snapped back to reality, the brush in my hand nearly falling to the floor due to my distraction. I brushed my hair in front of the mirror, the thoughts in my head swirling.

As I gazed over myself, my eyes caught sight of the ring. I exhaled sharply and prevented myself from having another meltdown.

The ring on my finger wasn't the one that I've been wearing before. It was a different one now. It was an _engagement ring. _Just thinking of it makes me dizzy. It's not that I didn't want to be his forever; it's just that it was all too sudden.

I'm already this close to graduating from high school; I wasn't imagining myself graduating engaged. I'm not supposed to worry because Jacob and I have agreed that getting married after the two of us have graduated college was the right time.

I am a little worried though. Jacob would be having a hard time convincing people that he's aging when he's actually not—physically, that is.

My eyes catch sight of the dress resting on my bed, the faintest color of blue exposing itself. My heart suddenly thumped faster like it had this morning. I continued brushing my hair, concentrating so that I could keep my mind off of what was going to happen later on.

The window was open, the summer breeze introducing itself to me. The air was warm and wet but it was still cold, in a way. I was glad because Forks stayed the same even if I had entirely changed.

I stopped brushing my hair and just gave up. My jittery state is going to eat me alive.

As I was walking towards the bed, the ring dropped from my hand while I was removing it. It rolled under the bed and stopped there, I could hear the light landing of the ring on the wooden floor.

I sighed and looked under my bed, searching for the ring. When I saw it, my hand absently reached for it. Before I could feel the ring, my hand touched a sort of paper.

And I know for a fact that there wasn't any paper under my bed.

I pulled the paper and examined it. It was an airport ticket for two. My mind suddenly flashed back to the most horrible birthday I had.

Esme's birthday gift.

As I peered more closely, it said that it was going to expire in a month. They were tickets to Florida, where Mom is. My heart suddenly jumped for joy. I could take Jake with me to see Mom. She's going to be happy about this when I tell her.

I placed the tickets on the bedside table and I continued to get my ring under the bed.

"Bella, what are you doing?" I heard Jacob's voice. My head bumped the bed's wooden base, as Jacob startled me. As I retrieved the ring, I rubbed my sore head.

"Ouch." I said as I looked at him then placed the ring back on my finger.

"I'm sorry. Do you want some ice? I could get some downstairs. That probably hurt . . ."

"Relax, Jacob. I'm alright, just a light bump." I assured him but I was lying. My head still hurts.

"You're sure?" I nodded. He sat on the floor and looked at me. "What were you doing?"

I cocked my head to one side, figuring out what I was doing. . . then suddenly remembered. "The ring rolled under the bed."

Jacob laughed and kissed my still-pounding head.

"Jake, do you want to go to Florida?" I blurted out without thinking twice.

"Why?" He asked, not sure of where I was leading him.

"Just answer the question."

"Sure. Does this involve meeting your Mom?" I could feel worry coating his voice. I laughed at him.

"Yes, it does. I found these two tickets under my bed just now. It's bound to expire in a month. So, do you want to go?" I left out the detail that Esme gave me the tickets.

"OK. But when?"

"Soon. Next week? Charlie'd approve of it. I mean, it's _Renee._" I told him, planning everything in my head.

"_Next week?_ Bella, that's not such a good time."

"Why not?" I retorted. "It's not like we have something planned out. Unless you had something mapped out?"

"No, no! It's just that. . ." he thought for a little while, his lips puckered. ". . . it's our graduation next week."

My mind was suddenly in a haze. I'm graduating. Oh no.

"Already?" The disgust in my voice was quite obvious.

Jacob nodded. "But maybe it would be a good thing since you're going to celebrate your graduation with Renee. She'd be thrilled."

I crawled to Jacob and snuggled myself warmly on his chest. "Okay. At least, it's not my birthday."

"Bella . . ." I know where this is going. Jake would ask me why I'm so worried of aging. "Why are you so worried about aging?"

See?

"I get to spend less time with you, that's why. I get closer to death by the second. What makes it more thrilling is that I don't know exactly _when _I'm going to die. The part that mostly sucks is that you don't age _at all _and—"

"Jeez, Bella. Wait, wait. How did you—?"

"Read it in Billy's book." I said, cutting him off.

"Oh." His expression suddenly showed confusion. "But still, we _age. _I guess you haven't read that in the book or you're just waiting for me to explain instead." Jacob held my shoulders and turned me to face him. "You always worry about aging. You know, if it makes you so happy, I'll kill myself to join you."

"Don't you ever think about that." I warned him. "I swear that I'll kick you out of heaven when I turn into an angel."

"You're already an angel. _My _angel, that is." I punched his arm and ended getting myself hurt.

"Ow!" I scowled. "_Jerk_!"

"Hey, not my fault." He said, brushing my cheeks lightly with his burning fingers.

"So are we going or not?" I whined, still irritated with my fingers. Great, now I have aching fingers _and _an aching head.

"Oh, we're going alright." He said with a smirk on his face. "I'll leave you to get ready."

Jacob opened the door and walked out but before the door could close, his head peeked through. "Make it fast. I don't want Charlie to catch us."

"I know." I smiled at him and went back to brushing my hair.

I readied my things and placed them all in the gift that Alice gave me almost a year ago. My stuff fit snugly into the black bag.

After a short look on the mirror, I grab the black bag and the dress that was waiting on the bed. I darted clumsily out of the room and onto the stairs, nearly tripping.

"Are you ready?" Jacob asked. I suddenly noticed that he's wearing a pair of jeans, a shirt that hugged his chest, and a coat that made him look even more gorgeous. I haven't noticed him bringing in a bag.

I had to take in a few breaths before I realized that I was staring at Jacob for the first time. This Jacob in front of me was different—in a good way.

My hand automatically clutched the dress in my hand, the ring suddenly feeling heavier than it already felt like before.

"I'm ready." I said as I held his hand and walked out of the house.

**AN: OK! And we're back with the sequel of Stuck. Tell me what you think! Is this Bella's wedding that they're going to, by the way? I wanna know what you've been assuming. :)**


	3. 1 The Wedding

**BPOV: **

"Emily, I swear that I will slap you if you don't stop doing that." Says Rachel, humor evident on her face. Emily was shaking and jittery—jumpy, even.

Rachel, Jacob's sister, came back to La Push for a visit. She met Emily one time when she and Sam were visiting the Blacks. After that, Rachel didn't feel the need to go back anymore because after Emily's visit, Paul had laid his eyes on her.

She's been imprinted on.

My attention was caught by frilly dresses, excessive make-up, bouquets of flowers, tuxedos, and _wolves. _

A wedding. That's what it is. It isn't an ordinary wedding, though. Since there are wolves in it, I'd consider this as a special marriage—a _very _special one.

Emily was getting married today, that's why she's isn't herself. In a matter of hours, she would be Emily _Uley. _I gulped. Even if I wasn't the one who's getting married, I can feel the chill down my spine.

How hard this must be for her. "Emily, calm down." I told her, rubbing her arms. "Just imagine this as. . . as. . ." Crap. I got nothing. I've got to admit, this isn't like _anything _at all.

"Thanks Bella," She said with shivering lips. "Rachel." She added.

I was nervous too. Maybe in an hour or so, I'd be as messed up as Emily. How could I not be nervous? It's not my wedding, I realize that, but I just can't help thinking of that when I'm going to walk down the aisle and see Jacob near the altar. I'm only the maid of honor and Jacob's best man. Yep, I shouldn't be nervous.

"Am I the only one who's used to weddings?" Rachel chimes in. "Come on!"

"Rachel, I know that you're a wedding planner," says Emily. "so I'm sure that you're used to women who are frozen on-the-spot." She stifles a weak laugh.

"You're so much like _Paul. _Meant to be with each other." I said, referring to Rachel. It was hilarious when Jacob mentioned that he was having Paul as his brother-in-law. _Of all people, _he once said, snorting.

"Hey, I was kidding," Rachel said to Emily. "Ha-ha, Bella. What do you want me to say? Oh, I know. My brother's madly in love with you."

I rolled my eyes at that and just decided to laugh about the wedding. I could use the optimism I've gathered the last few weeks.

As the hours droned on, Emily and I inched closer to walking down that aisle. We were afraid, I thought to myself. Afraid to see the men we love.

"I'm not getting married. I'm not getting married," I mumble to myself as I reach over for my dress and begin to weave myself into it. "it's just Emily's wedding."

_Just a wedding, _the tiny voice in my head sarcastically said.

A few minutes from now, I'd be walking down the aisle with Emily trailing behind me. I'll be alright, I mutter to myself.

Just to pass some time, I examined my dress. Its color was the lightest of all blue hues; somehow the color was between light sky blue and silvery white. The dress reached the ground. It was backless and it was v-necked in the front. My hair was tied up into a loose but beautiful bun and had a small white flower in it. Talk about au naturel.

Wearing high-heeled shoes are killing me but deep inside me, I liked it. I was happy that Emily made me maid of honor. I was happy to make all the sacrifices needed just for her day to be the most memorable of all. She deserved it. In fact—

"Bella, it's time to go." Kim—Jared's imprint—nervously said, interrupting my thoughts.

"Oh. Oh, okay." I stood from my seat and headed outside towards the grand door of the church which was still closed. Good. "I think you're nervous." I blurted out.

"Aren't we all?" She looked at me with wide eyes, shock and disbelief covering her features. "I'm a bit worried about Jared. . ."

"Kim, there's nothing to worry about." I assure her. "You're not the one who's getting married." I point a thumb towards Emily, who was now trying her best not to sweat.

". . . stop it. You're ruining your make up. . ."

". . . calm down. It's just Sam."

"Dear, you can do this." An old woman, who I assume to be her mother, said. "Conquer your fears, though I don't really . . . Heck, it's just Sam, sweetie."

Emily shook her head back and forth, as if the panic and fear would be shook away just like that. For a moment, she seemed to calm down. The rise and fall of her chest eased up a bit.

Now I was the one who was in panic. Jacob was out there. _This is _not _your wedding, _I told myself again. I was afraid that when I see him at the altar, I might trip on the aisle. Maybe I just need to avoid eye contact with him until I position myself properly—unmoving and calm.

The head of the wedding planners clapped her hands, signaling that the entrance was about to commence. I was glad that I wasn't the first to come in; Emily's nieces and nephews were coming in first.

I breathed in and out and I can see Kim, Leah, Emily and even _Rachel _doing the same. What is it about weddings that make everyone jittery?

A few minutes later, I was already standing at the back end of the aisle, ready to walk, trip, fall or whatever. Just walk. One foot over the other. I didn't look at the men standing beside the altar. I might get out of focus and trip.

"Go on, Bella. Walk." Rachel said behind me, pushing the small of my back lightly.

I began walking. _One foot over the other, one foot over the other. _I was thankful that the aisle wasn't long. By the time I reached the end of the aisle, I was able to glimpse at Jacob without the chance of falling.

He was _gorgeous. _Gorgeous and handsome, I can't stress it enough. There was a warm smile plastered all over his face as I caught his eye. He looked wonderful in his suit. His muscular body obvious under the shirt he wore.

I smiled back weakly, giving him the save-me-from-here look. He looked at me with eyes that said "you're going to be alright, trust me." I trusted him and made my turn to stand across from them, beside the altar. I looked away from him and I could feel my cheeks burn with embarrassment.

I turned my attention to the people joining us. There were guests but not too many, there were families, friends, relatives . . . then there was Emily.

I looked at Sam and saw that he was staring at her just like everyone in the cathedral did. Emily was stunning, her gown standing out amongst all gowns that I've seen before. I could finally tell that our theme was Victorian. Her gown was exquisite, it looked Victorian but with a modern twist. It was simple but it looked amazing on her.

Her gown was white. It had a v-neck design just like ours but it had ruffles on it. Waist down, it was just simple but it was beautiful against her skin. I just can't stress it enough.

The gown complemented her tan skin. The scar on her face looked like it was nothing; it was like she didn't have a great big scar on her face. She was smiling warmly at Sam with all the love she felt for him, Sam showed the same.

Emily reached the altar, her hand wound in Sam's. It's amazing how weddings work, really. I finally understand why most weddings make people cry. The expression on the bride and groom's faces are indescribable. It was unique.

"Dearly beloved, we have gathered here today to witness the union of Emily and Sam. . ." The priest started.

I could barely pay attention to the ceremony as I felt someone looking in my direction. My first guess was Jacob. I turned to look at him to see that he was staring at me. I could guess that he wasn't paying attention either. As well as. . . everyone in the wolf pack. Jared stared at Kim, Paul gawked at Rachel. Embry, Seth and Leah looked at Sam and Emily while Quil looked at a little girl.

The little girl was Claire, I reckon. Emily's niece.

". . . you may now kiss the bride." The priest happily said and closed the book in his hand.

Sam took Emily's face in his hands and kissed her passionately. It was like nothing in the movies. Their kiss was more loving, more passionate, more everything.

The crowd began clearing their throats but we—the pack, me, Rachel, and Kim—didn't. We could all relate, I'm sure.

Sam and Emily wound their hands into each other and faced the crowd. Everyone clapped, some even cried and the wolf pack howled. It was hilarious.

"Alright, Mrs. Uley!" Jared howled. Emily laughed at him.

It felt different. A wedding with werewolves in it felt different from regular weddings. It felt more lively, more _normal._ How is that more normal, though? I left that unanswered.

"You're happy." Jacob whispered in my ear as we walked together on the aisle, trailing behind Sam and Emily. "I knew you'd enjoy."

"Just invite me to weddings all the time, alright? As long as you're coming too, of course." I beamed at him, my cheeks getting hotter.

"Sure," He held my hand and squeezed my hand lightly. "As long as I get to come, it's a done deal."

"Jacob," I prompted, remembering Quil's gaze earlier. "Did you see where Quil was staring at earlier?"

"Yeah, I saw that." He chuckled lightly. Rice was being thrown everywhere now as we walked outside the church towards the horse carriages. "I'm not sure what it means, though. I'm sure he's had some giggles with Emily's niece."

"Right. O-kay." I stressed the last word into two syllables as Jacob lifted me into the horse carriage then lifting himself up as well. We were driven to the reception area which was about half a mile away from the church.

I shivered all throughout the short trip. It was twilight already and the cold breeze was making its way into the night. Jacob hugged me, warming me instantly.

"Now I'd just like to make a toast," Jacob said, rising in his seat to speak. We were at the reception now. He was about to deliver a speech for Emily and Sam who were seated in the table next to us.

"Jacob!" Emily hissed humorously. "I thought we talked about this." Weeks before the wedding, Emily told Jacob not to do any flips during the wedding such as speeches. Guess he didn't listen again.

"Don't worry, Emily. I'll make this really good," He looked down at me and winked. "I promise." He looked towards Emily's direction. Sam had a big smile on his face, showing the perfect white teeth against the tan skin.

Jacob huffed and began his "speech". Yeah, right. He looked at our table. His eyes looking at each one of us. Quil, Embry, Seth, Leah, Jared, Kim, Paul, Rachel, and finally, me.

"First of all, I'd like to congratulate you two love birds. I'm. . . _We're _finally happy to see that you're bound into the point of no turning back." I heard everyone at our table chuckling. He continued.

"Sam was that kind of guy who always had your back no matter what happened. Well to be clear, he had _all _of our backs covered. Before I met him, I thought that hanging out with this 'freak' would make me one as well. I was wrong, though. When I met Sam, he turned out to be one of the people who'd take me by storm. He was a brother to me," _Define brother, _I thought. None of the guests would know what that even meant. "a mentor, a friend, even a pain in the butt sometimes.

"But, really, if you ask me who Sam Uley is, I'd answer you with an 'I don't know.' Sam's a really great guy up to the point that you don't really understand who he is. He's incredible but that doesn't tally who he really is. No words measure that. So Emily, you gotta realize how damn lucky you are with that man of yours. Cheers!" He raised his glass, and everybody followed lead.

The crowd quieted down. I guess they could feel that Jacob wasn't done doing his speech.

"Ah, little Emily." Emily stuck her tongue out at Jacob, I giggled. "You must know how much you mean to Sam."

"Yes, I know! So sit down." She said with mock sarcasm. She laughed and placed her head on Sam's shoulder, ready to listen.

"Once upon a time, I met Emily at Sam's place. I knew from the very beginning that she was meant for Sam. I was right all along. Emily proved herself to be the best candidate for Sam's heart. She loved Sam endlessly, took him for what he is, and took care of him. She even took care of _us. _ She once cooked for us a really large batch of muffins which, unfortunately, left her with nothing more to eat as we got our hands on them.

"Really, Emily, I'm happy that Sam has you. I'm glad that he's being jailed to happiness. I'm happy that he makes you feel like you're everything to him, which, by the way, is true, don't doubt that. I'm grateful because we have a great brother—a great brother that was inspired by you. So here's to you, Emily, for all your hard work, love, and perseverance.

"After a few years, of course, I'm expecting little replicas of Sam running around the house calling you "mommy". What a great thing that'll be; more stubborn little boys with unimaginable appetites—more boys to take care of. I bid both of you the best in life. Cheers!" Jacob drank his wine and sat down.

"Really, Jacob," Rachel started. " 'Little replicas of Sam'? That's a really nice term." She said with sarcasm. She hugged Paul's arm and pressed her cheek to his shoulder.

"I found nothing wrong with it, honestly. Seriously, what do you expect in marriages? Restraint? You gotta be kidding." Embry said, laughing boisterously. All of us laughed along with him.

"Well said, Embry, well said." Jacob slapped Embry's back, causing water to spray all over Embry's clothes as he drank water. "Oops, sorry."

All of us laughed again. Jacob took care of Embry's clothes but he suddenly noticed Quil who was sitting beside him. Quil wasn't paying attention. He was looking at Claire at the other table.

"Quil?" Jacob called.

Quil looked at Jacob then at every one of us, seeing that our attention was to him. "What?"

"Why have you been looking at Claire all this time?" Humor coated Jacob's voice but Quil didn't take in all of the humor. He looked like he was thinking of something, his forehead scrunched up into folds.

Everyone laughed except Quil. He was taking this so seriously.

"Quil! Jacob's just kidding. What the heck is wrong with you?" Leah interjected, a smile on her lips.

"You see. . . I don't know. . ." Quil struggled to explain, finding the right words. "The thing is. . ."

**AN: Alrightyyy then. Hope you enjoyed this one. For a start, I'm going to be posting the next chapter after I get reviews because I'm not really sure if anyone's reading. I might end up looking like a freak :p**

**If any of my former readers are reading, thank you so much! And tell me what you think :)**

**Oh and by the way, I would be posting the picture (or rather, my wasted drawing) of Bella and Emily's dress. So just keep on checking my homepage until you can see a link. It'll lead you there. **


	4. 2 Forgotten Gift

"You _what?_" Jacob's voice boomed in.

I don't believe it. A toddler. A _toddler_, I can't stress it enough.

"You. Imprinted. On. Claire?" Emily's words made us all jump. She stood behind me and Jacob, her eyes furious.

"Now, now," Quil mumbled. "I'm sorry, Emily. I don't have any control of this."

I don't know if it was just me or if Emily was shaking just like Jacob and the others. Her eyes closed for a moment, thinking. When she opened her eyes, sudden peace entered her features but her eyes were tight.

"We'll talk about it later." Emily mumbled and then walked away. "I mean, when we get back from the honeymoon." I watched Emily walk away before turning back to the table.

When I looked up at Quil, I saw his face turning purple. "I feel like a shmuck." He said, his eyes closed.

Even Jacob was speechless. Every _one _of them was speechless. I found Kim, Rachel, and myself staring at each other, dumbfounded.

I shivered.

I couldn't take the silence anymore. "Quil, it's alright. The legends say that there's imprinting but it didn't say anything about imprinting on someone when they're young. You imprint when you _see _them whether they're a baby or not. Don't worry." I wanted to stretch my hand towards Quil to comfort him but he seemed so stressed.

Jacob's arm rested on my shoulder, keeping me warm.

"Bella," Jacob took the cardigan hanging on my seat and handed it to me.

"Thanks." I wore my cardigan and rested my head on Jacob's shoulders. I was instantly warmed up by Jacob and the cardigan. It was a rather cold day today.

I looked up at Jacob and kissed the hollow of his neck, then placed my head on his shoulder again. He was staring at space but his eyes turned liquid at my action. Suddenly, his alpha voice boomed.

"Bella's right." His free hand clutched my left. "It's not against tribal law to imprint on young ones. Anyway, Quil would just have to wait. Emily can't do anything about it, either. That's the way things go."

"Thanks, man." Quil said and slapped Jacob on the back.

"Enough," Paul spoke. "Let's eat."

These werewolves really had nothing to be ashamed of—their hunger, for one. Half of the food on each buffet tray was eaten by them, it was a good thing that none of the guests noticed that. I think.

"Their hungers are really something, huh, Bella?" said Kim, who was now sitting beside me, replacing Jacob.

"I don't believe it myself. Up to now, I don't." I admitted. It was true.

"They're lucky because they don't get fat." Rachel interjected. She was seated on my right. "They should be thankful."

"OK, guys!" I heard Emily's voice over the blaring speakers, the crowd went silent. "It's time to throw the bouquet!"

After Emily said those words, the people seated on the chairs were gone. They were pacing to where Emily was. Kim, Rachel, and even Leah were gone. I suddenly realized that I was the only one left seated on all the tables at the reception.

"Ms. Swan?" I looked up to see Jacob hovering over me, a hand stretched out. I took it. "I hope you get the bouquet." He whispered in my ear.

"You wish," I said sourly.

"Yes, I do." He kissed my hair and held my hand as we walked down to the stage where Emily was.

"What do you get in return, anyway?"

"I get to slip a band on your leg. I've always wanted to do that since I was a kid."

"You're unbelievable."

"I know." He smirked and we skidded to a stop as Emily was readying herself to throw the bouquet.

The next thing I knew, there was a big white ball being thrown up into the air. Only, it wasn't a gigantic ball, it was a bouquet of flowers. There were squealing girls, their hands in the air as they try to reach for it.

The flowers quickly landed on the hand of the girl on my near right. I thought that she had securely held it—I could've sighed with relief—but to my surprise, it jumped off her hand and went to mine.

Lucky me.

I exhaled sharply. When I looked up at Jacob, he smiled _my _favorite smile. His smile reached his ears and I could tell that sudden excitement filled him. He was going to get his childhood wish.

"This is ridiculous." I mumbled. I wanted to blame the girl for letting the bouquet jump off of her hand. "But at least you get your childhood wish." I told Jacob.

"Yes. Yes, I do." Jacob rubbed my hand that bore the ring. He just loved touching it.

Sam, who appeared on stage all of a sudden, handed Jacob a lacey white band and grinned.

"Well, what do you know, it's Bella. I'm shocked." Sam said sarcastically, he chuckled and gently pulled Emily to his chest.

"Go on, Bella. Sit down on the chair and let Jacob put the band." Emily prompted.

"How high is this thing supposed to go?" I asked. But before anyone could answer, Jacob already started slipping the band.

It felt ticklish. As in _really _ticklish. I felt the sudden urge to kick Jacob as he leaned in front of me, trying to push the band higher.

"Jacob, stop. I might kick you." I warned, giggles escaping my lips.

"You're not going to hurt me," he snorted. He stopped when he got the lace above my knee. "That's alright. Just a little below the thigh, right?" Jacob looked towards Sam, he nodded.

"All right, Jacob!" I heard someone saying. I looked at the crowd and saw Jared howling. I looked away as I felt the blush entering my cheeks.

"You're never doing that again. _Ever._" I told him as we went down the stage.

"Sure, sure. But if it makes you blush _that _red, well, I can't promise that I won't do it ever again. It's up to you anyway; if you catch the bouquet or not."

"I'll cut my arms off if that's what it takes." I retorted.

"That's my girl. Always so stubborn." I felt his lips on my forehead. I looked up and his lips met mine.

His lips were warm and soft. It sent vibrations towards my whole body, making me feel good. His kiss always did that to me. He lifted me and my arms wound around his neck. When he broke our kiss, he looked around.

"Good thing no one's looking. They're all paying attention to Emily and Sam. Newly weds." He smiled. "One day, that's going to be us up there."

I exhaled and snuggled into his chest. "Yes. One day that'll be us."

When we arrived home, it was already near midnight. I was surprised to see Charlie still up, watching a game and drinking a can of beer. When he saw us, he looked so shell-shocked by our appearance.

"Bella, you look beautiful. Jacob, wow." He commented. My eyes protested already, I wanted to sleep.

"You should have seen her when she was at the wedding, Charlie. She was stunning." Jacob carried me in his arms as my legs gave themselves away to their weakness—sleep.

"Dad. . ." I yawned. "I want to sleep."

"Sure, sure. Thanks for bringing her home, kid." I heard Charlie slap Jacob's back.

After that, my thoughts were blurry. I remembered Jacob and Charlie laughing about something. I remember Jacob putting me on the bed and tucking me in. I remember grabbing him because I didn't want him to go away. After that, I can remember nothing.

The next morning, I was greeted by a warm and sunny Sunday. There were the chirping of birds and the gushing of warm wind in and out of my room.

I was thankful that today wasn't the usual dreary day. When sun shone, it signaled something good, that there was something good happening soon.

I went down to the kitchen and cooked some breakfast. I baked a tray of corn muffins and figured that this would make a nice breakfast when I partnered it with milk.

Muffin batter was scattered all over the kitchen counter as I placed the final tray in the oven. Today, I was out of coordination. Everything was messy, it was hard to believe. As I was cleaning up, I heard a knock on the door.

"Knock, knock," a husky voice said. When I opened the door, it was Jacob. He smiled down at me and chuckled.

"What are you laughing at?" I fussed.

"You're still wearing your pajamas." He pointed towards body.

"I'm making breakfast. I'm too hungry." I reasoned. "There're some of your favorite in the oven. D'you want some?"

"Sure." He licked his lips. "I'm hungry anyway."

"I figured." I clicked my tongue. "You're always hungry. Doesn't your hunger ever lessen?"

"Nope." I could sense that he was becoming impatient as minutes droned on and on. I turned back to cleaning the counter.

"You could eat raw." I suggested. I heard a chair being dragged across the wooden floor and a light creak.

"I dare you to eat dirt first. If you like it, then I'll eat raw." He chuckled.

"It's not so bad. I did it once on a dare. So do you get to eat raw now?" I laughed at him.

He was silent for a few moments. I wish I could see his face, I giggled. "You're unbelievable."

"I know." I smiled. Those two lines have become our most common lines. In fact, Jacob's considered them as a sort of 'trademark line' of ours. He was proud of it, I don't know why.

When the corn muffins were done, I took them out of the oven. The smell of corn filled the air and I can hear Jacob sniffing loudly.

I was used to making a large corn muffin because Jacob never missed a day when I cook them. I took out a few muffins from the pan and before I could even spread some butter on it, a big hand snatched the first three muffins away.

"Jacob!" I said, turning around. "I haven't put any butter on it."

Two muffins were on the table and the one that he held was half-eaten. "'S okay the way it is." He munched and ate the remaining one-half. "Butter or no butter."

I was able to spread butter on half a dozen muffins before Jacob snatched two more from the tray. It was a bit annoying because I haven't even eaten anything yet.

The muffins are on a plate now as I went and got a carton of milk. I placed the plate on the table—warily, because Jacob might snatch one again—and quickly grabbed two glasses.

I poured myself a glass of milk. Jacob, after pouring some for himself, chugged the milk in one gulp. He really was an unbelievable monster.

"You can have the remaining two but that last one is for Charlie." I said as I nibbled on the remaining part of the muffin. Eating one single muffin filled me. I don't know how _seven _humongous muffins fit in Jacob's stomach.

"OK. Sure. I'm stuffed. Thanks, Bella." He stood up and placed the dishes in the sink. "Have you got anything planned out for today?"

"It's a Sunday so, yes, I've got chores to do. You should probably go patrolling." I hated Sundays. It's not that I hated doing chores, but actually acknowledging that tomorrow is Monday scares me.

I'm _graduating. _

"Nah, I'll stay with you. Is that okay? We could go to Dad's if you aren't up to cooking for five." He smiled my smile.

"Sure but I hope I don't bore you. Just go and watch TV. I don't want a puppy hanging on my tail."

"_Right._" He said sarcastically. He turned and headed for the living room. "I'm off."

Jacob stopped midway and rushed back to where I stood. He kissed my cheek and darted off. I heard the TV being turned on before I went back to washing the dishes.

A few minutes later, I was doing laundry. An hour has passed and now I'm cleaning the house. When I peeked to see how Jacob was doing, I saw him sprawled against the couch, snoring. I turned off the TV and chuckled.

I could see that the couch was too small for him. It was like Goldilocks and the Three Bears, only, Papa Bear slept in Baby Bear's bed.

I kissed Jacob's forehead and then finished with dusting and cleaning the living room.

I saved cleaning my room for last. Something told me that it was better that way—leaving my room last.

As I was dusting and sweeping under the bed, I saw that one of the floor boards seemed to have been lifted. I pushed the bed aside until I can see the broken floor boards.

The wood isn't broken. It's _open. _The elevated wood seemed to be some sort of a door to whatever is underneath it. I lifted the wood carefully then suddenly, I saw a piece of paper in it.

The sunlight, being so strong today, revealed to me what was inside the secret hole in my floor. I was afraid to at first because there might be something awful inside such as rats but the sunlight proved to me that it was safe to poke my hand inside.

I pulled out a thin, square box. It was covered in dust but I could see that it was studded.

Memories flooded my head as the sight of the bejeweled CD case rang and knocked on dormant human memories.

The terrifying eighteenth birthday that I had, the blood trickling down my finger, and Jasper _attacking. _It all flooded me again. I remembered Alice's voice ringing in my ears as she planned my birthday party. But the clearest and sharpest memory that I've recalled was the day that Edward left me in the woods.

I suddenly wondered whether this was all true. Was this where everything is all along? Just hidden under my bed? My arm suddenly fought the urge to throw the CD into spiraling pieces.

_There's more_, I thought to myself. This isn't the only gift I've received from the Cullens. Maybe this is where I've taken out the plane tickets. It was a gift from Esme and Carlisle, isn't it? That would explain why a sheet of paper was sticking out from the floor at the time.

That night—after Jacob left—when I was going to bed, I took the CD player from my drawer and placed the CD that Edward gave me.

When I tried sleeping, nothing but memories of Edward filled me. I didn't know what I was doing. Was this a rational reaction? I felt like a bucket of ice water was dropped on my head, causing me to realize my real life.

But my real life isn't supposed to be revolving around Edward.

I tried blocking out the world and listening to nothing but the CD. My fingers turned the knob to maximum volume, making sure that I heard nothing but the music of the piano.

For the first time in such a long time, I wondered whether Edward was safe or not.

**AN: End of chapter 2. Bella can't let go of Edward, can he? Sigh, leeches. Kidding! Alright, tell me what you think! :)**


	5. 3 Aftermath

How did time suddenly go so fast?

How? _How? _

It was like a minute ago that I was just a junior and now, I'm graduating. I'm actually _graduating._

Jitters ran down my spine ever since the day has started. And during _that _morning, I was shaking but now I'm like Jacob. Tremors rocked me back and forth, daring my balance.

"Bella!" Charlie shouted, his head sticking out of the car window. "We have to _go_!"

"Just a minute!" I replied as my hand held the door frame, thinking of what I must have forgotten.

I know this. I have a feeling that I've forgotten something. Suddenly, it clicked. I've forgotten my inhaler.

I ran towards the kitchen table, where I recall I last used it. My hands quickly grabbed the inhaler and placed it in my black bag. I locked the front door and jumped into the front seat of Charlie's cruiser.

Ten minutes later, the school's red paint was visible in the thin fringe of trees. My spine tingled at the sight, my stomach wanted to hurl, and my head spun.

Charlie had a hard time pulling me out of the car, my mind was such a haze that my senses were cut off. His annoying chatter had made getting back to Earth possible. My mind was so far away that I felt like it was on Pluto.

"Bella," He huffed. "You're going to be late. I don't want that to happen."

"You're right. You're right," I chanted. "We should go."

_I _should go.

By the time we reached the auditorium, Mr. Greene has pulled me away from Charlie saying that it was way past the assembly time and I was practically late. Mr. Greene led me backstage to where the students of Forks High all were.

I first saw Jessica Stanley and Lauren Mallory but I quickly ducked. When they saw I was looking, their eyes narrowed. I guess they would never forgive me.

As I craned my neck looking for a tall, russet skinned boy, I heard a high shrill right by my ear.

"Bella, Bella, Bella!" I looked to my right and saw Alice jumping up and down.

"I thought you matriculated a lot?" I accused. Was she really _this _excited?

"Oh, I don't know. Graduating means new clothes. Speaking of clothes, Bella you're outfit is—"

"Don't remind me, please. I was in a hurry." I cut her off. "If you're here to insult me about my outfit—"

"No, Bella," She said in a musical voice, obviously unmoved by my rude reply. "I actually wanted you to talk to someone."

I looked at her face, totally puzzled. I was so distracted by Alice that I hadn't noticed her holding a hand. I thought it was Jacob but as I focused on that hand, it was a chalky, familiar hand.

I looked at Alice, her face amused by my dumbfounded expression but her eyes were tight. I remembered her words as she talked about him . . .

_He's heartless. _

"Hello, Bella." A series of memories flooded my head as he spoke. I remembered last night when the melodies played in my mind.

"Edward," I whispered, acknowledging, then looked away.

"I'm sorry." He said, holding my chin and making me face him.

"Sorry can't take back everything you said, Edward." I snapped and pulled my face away from his grip. His hand softened, making it easier for me to pull my face away. "Sorry can't take back the words you said." I whispered.

He fell silent in front of me, standing as motionless as a stone. I never looked at his face, afraid that I might snap any second. I didn't want any stupid emotion triggered.

_This is useless_, I thought to myself. _I'm only wasting my time. _

Without another word, I turned and walked away from Edward. I've said enough. Those were the only words that he needed to hear from me. After that, nothing more.

I was called by the other teachers who were backstage a few moments later. I lined up with the other S's.

As I craned my neck again, there was still no sight of Jacob. Maybe I wouldn't, whatever I did. He _is _a B and I am an S. There's a great amount of distance.

The program started and soon enough, the diplomas were being given out. I paid close attention to Mr. Berty when he was calling out the B's.

"Barners, Ciara . . .Bettison, Allen . . . Black, Jacob . . ."

My head shot up towards the stage and there he was, his hand held out where a diploma was being placed. I heard howls from the audience and instantly, I knew that the wolf pack was here.

I giggled.

"Swan, Bella . . ."

Another wave of jitters went down my back as I walked up the stage. I could feel my cheeks flaming as my klutziness tempted to resurface.

"Congratulations, Ms. Swan." Mr. Greene warmly said as he handed me my diploma.

"Thanks." I smiled back and quickly glanced at the audience.

The first person that my eyes saw was Jacob. He was smiling back at me, then his eyes fell down to my hand. He was looking at it again.

I will spare him for now. I'll take care of him later.

The valedictory speech was given by Eric Yorkie. As he spoke, I could see the tears forming in his eyes. I don't blame him, his speech was as dramatic as I've always seen in movies.

I don't know what happened right after but the next thing I knew, graduation caps were being thrown into the air. I lifted mine quickly and threw it too, but it was kind of late; most of the caps were already in the hands of the owners.

Around me were people I barely talked to, some I never even knew but now they were hugging me. Farewells and sobs in their voices, passing me around. I almost felt as if I would cry myself but I fought the urge.

I didn't know why I was this insensitive to feelings today. I knew myself better. By now—if I was my sane and normal self—I would've hurled a thousand tears, but not a single tear dropped.

"Bella!" I heard Alice, pulling me from my reverie.

I looked at her wordlessly. Even if she wasn't a mind-reader like Edward, she'd know what I'm thinking.

"Oh, that one," she said lowly. "Well, forget it. It's just him. By the way, Bella, you're having a party!"

"I'm having a _what?_"

"A party! At my house, of course, everyone's invited." She searched my face. "See! I knew you'd like the idea."

"Alice, you _know _how much I hate surprises—"

"But now, you are as happy as a puppy!" She said with a giddy tone, jumping up and down.

"Am I invited, though?" I heard a rough voice behind me and suddenly, all of my fears seemed to have melted.

"Jacob!" I turned and hugged him, not bothering to make sure if it was really him.

"Hey." I could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke. "So, Alice, am I invited?"

"Sure. You could even take your pack of friends, if you'd like." There was as an unsure edge to her voice.

"Nah, I'd rather not bring them into it. They're not used to sweet, over-perfumed houses." I saw Alice roll her eyes and then chuckle.

"You'll be there at six, Bella." Alice said. Jacob led me away as we waved goodbye. "By the way, I wasn't going to insult you about your outfit! I was going to compliment you!"

"We'll talk later!" I shouted over the noise. We were far from Alice now.

At least, for the first time in history, Alice wasn't going to ruin this day for me by saying an insult about my remarkable effort. I've picked this outfit with Jacob in Port Angeles. I might as well tell her that later.

I'm wearing a black, sleeveless dress that hung just above my knee. Wearing Renee's first-of-three graduation gift which were a pair of black, comfortable pumps was Charlie's idea. I didn't want to wear it at first but I didn't have another choice. It was this or a pair of sneakers.

To be perfectly honest, I wouldn't have any idea about what to call my shoes if it weren't for Renee. She's filled out all the details upon knowing my lack of know-how and know-_what_.

Jacob and I stopped. "I'll see you later, alright? I'll be there knocking on your door at five-thirty."

I nodded and he leaned down to kiss me. He was happy; his kiss was like this whenever he's happy. I kissed him back tenderly, not caring at all about the people around us. I could feel his hot breath in my mouth.

When our lips parted, Jacob lifted me and lightly touched his forehead with mine. "I love you." He whispered.

"So do I." I smiled and kissed his nose. He then let me go and we parted ways.

My feet led me to Charlie. He was standing with a sad expression on his face.

"What's wrong, Dad?" I asked him, suddenly alert.

"My baby's not a baby anymore." A smile formed on his lips.

I hugged him tightly. "I'll always be your little girl, Dad. If I'm not a baby, I'm just a little girl."

That was odd. We looked like a dad and daughter in a drama series. It wasn't like we were going to die. It was cheesy to be in a situation like this, but I was glad.

"Let's go out and eat. Where do you want to eat, Dad?" I asked him as he pulled away.

"You're asking _me. _Why are you asking _me_? You're the graduate here." He accused sarcastically.

We went to La Bella Italia when Charlie gave up about me deciding. He thought that

Port Angeles was a good idea. Being around Forks was wearing him down.

I don't mind, though. Even if the restaurant sent me walking down memory lane, I didn't mind.

Right. On with this day.

"I hope you like it here. Have you been here before, Bella?" He asked casually as he sat down on the chair.

"Nope," I lied.

I looked around and realized that Charlie and I were sitting at the exact spot where Edward and I sat in the past year. Charlie took Edward's place in the seat in front of me.

This day is getting really annoying.

It wasn't exactly the same picture. The only difference was that there was a chair my left. An empty chair. How I wish Jacob was sitting there.

"So, Bella," said Charlie, clearing his throat. "Where are you planning to go to college? You've had a lot of application forms in the past months. Acceptance letters as well. So?"

I haven't really thought about college, for one. I was thinking about staying here in Forks, dwelling in on the supernatural world. It felt better and homey to be there rather in the real world but some day, I would have to face reality.

"Uhm," I racked my brain for the acceptance letters that I've gotten. "University of Alaska."

Charlie looked like as if I've insulted him. "Aren't you tired of the cold?"

_Nope, Jacob's going to be there to keep me warm. _"Forks is growing on me, Dad."

"Well, if you're sure, I'll help you with picking out a dorm. Your mom and I probably should talk soon. . ."

"Dad!" I stopped him. "I'm not going to let you pay for college. This is all on me, remember?"

"Bella, are you sure? I mean, college is a lot of money."

"Dad, are you forgetting that I've been actually working for the Newtons for half a year now?"

"Oh. I'm not actually expecting quite a large amount of salary from them because you're working part time. Still, that money saved up isn't enough."

"Dad, believe me, I have enough." I grabbed a ball pen from my black bag and wrote the amount I've saved up on a piece of tissue. I slid it towards Charlie.

As he took in the amount, I can see his eyes widen with shock. "Where did you get all of _this_?"

"I've been saving up since I was twelve."

"You're richer than me with those digits running around."

"Exactly. That's why I saved up for my own college expenses."

"You're unbelievable."

"I know." When Jacob's usual line was being said by another, it was disappointing. Truly, he was the only one who could make it sound like it was an amusing phrase.

Charlie's eyes suddenly narrowed when he looked to my right. His eyes were tight and nervous, almost as if he was seeing something he couldn't believe.

I dare not look as my mind weighed the possibilities. Charlie's expression was a first; I've never seen him like this before. His face was so full of expression. It was as if it was making him younger.

A waft of air hit me before I could take in Charlie's face completely. The scent triggered old memories; some of them dating back to when I was a little girl. It was a scent I did not recognize at first.

"Hi, Bella." The being behind me said.

I turned around. And as I looked, I swear that my expression was a replica of Charlie's.

**AN: Mystery person? I think you can figure this out. Tell me what you think, okay? Thanks so muchhh! :D **


	6. 4 Renee

"Oh my goodness. Mom?" I shrieked as I saw her striding towards our direction.

"You thought that I was going to pass up on your graduation?" She said, shocked. "I'm disappointed in you, Bella." She said sarcastically.

"You weren't there at the graduation, Mom. You met us _here. _Charlie's expression was obviously—"

"Seriously, Bella, I thought you'd know me enough by now." She paused. "Of course I was there at your graduation! I just stayed out of sight."

She was there? My mother was actually there?

I suddenly felt bad. I wanted my Mom to meet Jacob. I kind of wanted her to meet him for a long time now. I wanted to tell her so bad about the ring on my finger.

But I think I needed to tell her gently. She might jump to conclusions. Like . . . I'm pregnant that's why I got engaged.

"Dad," I turned to Charlie who was now grinning. "I never knew that you were such an actor."

"Well, Renee talked to me about that one. She was waving me something I've been eyeing for so long in exchange of that performance." He gestured for Renee to sit down on the empty chair.

"Mom, what are you—?"

"I waved at him a really really really expensive fishing rod. It's good quality too." Her eyes widened in amusement.

An expensive fishing rod? Since when was she into buying expensive things?

Renee must have been really desperate.

"I got it yesterday. Thanks Renee," Charlie grinned a different, warm smile. Am I missing something? He looked as if he wanted to kiss her.

"So, Bella," she started, her brown eyes burning into mine. "Where are you going to college?"

"Er . . . University of Alaska."

"Bella!" Shock crossed her features. "Aren't you the least bit tired putting up with the cold?"

"You could get used to it, Mom." I told her bluntly.

"That's what I told her." Charlie said, his head hung low.

"What's that beautiful ring on your finger, honey? Is it Charlie's gift?" She asked, ignoring Charlie.

Crap, crap, crap. No, not _that _question. I'm not actually ready to tell her "Mom, I'm getting married!" I would be in so much trouble.

Renee opened her mouth again to speak but closed it again when we heard a loud, shrilly tone. She patted her pockets and took out her phone.

"It's Phil. I've got to take this one." She stood up and walked outside. "Hi, Phil. Yes, I miss you so . . ."

"Dad, you never _told _her?" I snapped. "I thought you were going to tell her!"

"Well, honey, if there's one thing that you should learn, it should be about being responsible about your own actions." He said coolly. He was expecting this, wasn't he?

"I am _holding _myself responsible for my actions. But you promised that you would do that!" I asked, disbelief obviously coating my voice.

"Then maybe this is the right time to tell her. Consider this as the family's meeting."

"You're unbelievable." I echoed Jacob's words.

"I know. I'm your father."

I asked myself, _am I really ready_? I knew since Christmas that Charlie would be the hardest person to sway about Jacob's proposal but he turned out to be the soft one. Suddenly, I was the one fearing Renee's reaction.

I know that Renee would react badly because, first of all, she didn't approve of letting history repeat itself. She didn't want her "little girl" to have the same fate as her parents. Second, she would jump to conclusions just like she usually did. If she suspected, it would be hard to make her change her mind.

"Good afternoon, may I take your orders?" a manly voice asked.

"A mushroom ravioli and Pellegrino, please." I quickly said, not bothering to look at the menu. I was trying to think of things to say to Renee.

I could see her reactions in my head. OK, don't panic. It'll be alright. Maybe Renee would react differently. I mean, she must have changed. My imaginary head shook back and forth. No, of course she didn't change. She's still the same harebrained mother that I loved.

I didn't hear what Charlie ordered as my mind continued to haze in fright. My heart was beating a hundred times faster than usual. I felt as if I would not make it out alive.

"I'm back. Did I miss anything?" Renee sat down on her chair and saw the waiter taking orders. "Oh, I'll have fettuccini Alfredo and a Coke."

The waiter bowed his head and left. The tension suddenly pushed me further down into nothing. My mouth felt dry and my breathing was hitched. All right, moment of truth.

I cleared my throat. "Mom, about the ring . . ."

"Yes?" Her eyes mirrored interest.

"It's actually from"—gulp—"Jacob. Jacob Black, the one that I've mentioned in my e-mails?" My eyes tightened and my teeth suddenly chattered. I could feel Charlie's triumphant gaze burning a hole on my face.

"Oh, _him_! He must have spent so much money on that ring! I mean, it's beautiful." She chirped. Oh God, I must be sending the wrong signals.

"It's his mom's." I finally say, hoping that she gets what I mean.

"His mom's? Then that means . . ." she paused, thinking. ". . . he _proposed_ to you?"

I could hear Charlie's breathing stop. He sucked in a large amount of air and just stopped breathing.

"Y-y-yes. I've been meaning to tell you actually . . ." A fresh wave of panic coated me. My voice stuttered. I can barely talk straight.

"When are you getting married?" Her voice surprised me. She isn't supposed to be saying it like that. She's actually kind of giddy.

"Mom . . . are you not worried or angry or furious?" I asked, feeling a little bit better. Charlie let out all of his air. His face turned purple for a few seconds then returned to its normal color.

"I supposed I'm not." She stuck her tongue out, which was pretty childish and unexpected. "Didn't you mention that Jacob just turned seventeen a few months ago? He's not kind of legal yet, Bella. And I'm also surprised that he graduated high school early. _Seventeen_."

"Mom, we don't live in New York. I live in a small and lonely town called Forks. It's not like someone would actually care about our wedding besides family and friends. So yeah, age isn't such a relative subject.

"And Jacob studied early when he went to Quileute school when he was a kid. That's actually why he was able to graduate a year earlier than me. Believe me, Mom, he won't look like a seventeen-year-old teenager to you."

"He's six foot two inches. And still growing." Charlie said proudly.

"He's _that _tall? Goodness me, I'll have to meet him!" Renee said in an excited tone.

That's it. I'm concluding that this day is creepy, annoying, disturbing and unusual. Renee's appearance has already made it unusual but when combined with her behavior, it made it unstable. I'm kind of disliking this day.

Charlie suddenly looked like he was slapped. "What do you mean you 'have to meet him'? You're going to stay with us?"

I was dumbfounded the moment Charlie's words dug holes in my brain. "You're staying with us?" I echoed.

"Yes!" Renee said with excitement. She even raised a brown traveling bag to prove it.

"For how long?" Charlie asked, uncomfortable of the situation.

If Alice would ever choose to have another sister, I'd volunteer my Mom.

"Well, weeks! I'll help out with Bella's college stuff. Phil's traveling to different cities and states. I'm kind of getting bored that's why I asked myself, 'Why can't I stay with my daughter?'"

"Mom, you're not going to stay here for weeks. I'm going to stay with _you _for a couple of weeks." I interjected.

"What are you talking about?" A frown formed on her lips.

"Someone gave me tickets to Florida as a gift when I turned eighteen. They're gonna expire soon so Jacob and I planned to visit you."

"Oh, that's too bad. Maybe I'll just come back again to visit Charlie when you're at Alaska."

"That's a good idea, Renee." Charlie said.

When our food arrived, we all ate in silence. Charlie and I could feel the stress that Renee had given us this afternoon. So many weeks of planning wasted in a one-hour conversation. The worst part in this now was telling Jacob. I imagined him reacting badly.

After eating, with Charlie footing the bill, we left the restaurant and headed home. We were now in Charlie's car, silence being our companion.

"Dad, Alice is throwing a graduation party later at their place at six." I said quickly, hoping that he would approve.

Right now, it felt awkward to have both of Charlie and Renee in the car with me at the back. It felt bizarre.

"Alright. Be back by ten." He grunted lowly that even Renee didn't notice.

_Can't it be a little earlier? _"Thanks, Dad."

Renee didn't pry anymore as we reached home. She was shocked to see that the photographs in the living room were some of the photos when I was still a baby. She's having a hard time coping up, I could tell.

I wanted to laugh. What if she knew about my supernatural world? She would probably have a heart attack just by trying to figure out how to cope with everything.

Renee chose to sleep in Charlie's room when asked to choose between mine and Charlie's. I tried persuading Renee when Charlie's fingers started drawing death trails on his neck but she wouldn't budge. I just laughed at Charlie from that time on.

When Renee was fully unpacked and informed, I went down the stairs towards the dining room to call Jacob. He answered before the second ring.

"Hello?" A husky voice said.

"Hi," I said shyly.

"Bella," I could hear the smile in his voice. "Is there something you need?"

"Can't I call without having to phone what I need? Jake, please."

"I was kidding." He paused for a while. "_Is _there something you need?"

"Yes, you." I laughed.

"Very funny."

"No, seriously. I need you here right now. I've got someone who wants to meet you."

There was a long pause on the other end of the line. If Jacob knew what was going on then I would have to put down the phone quickly. If he doesn't know, then I'd be better.

"Bella, it's only two-thirty. Am I needed _now_?" He whined.

Renee hasn't been thinking about Jacob recently since lunch but I think that the earlier she knows, the better.

"_Yes_. Please, Jacob?"

He released a sarcastic exasperated grunt. "Oh, alright. I'm going to bring my stuff there. You know, the stuff for the party?"

"Hmm, don't remind me."

"Alright," he said, his voice giddy. "I'll see you soon."

I could sense Jacob putting the phone down so I said quickly, "Act human!"

I was wrong. "What?"

"Nothing. Bye!" I put down the phone before I was forced to explain.

Today's outcome isn't entirely my fault. Some of it was Jacob's so he should have some part of the fun.

I suppressed a sigh. _Jacob_.

Looking back, I've never really thought about what path of life I've chosen. Two roads laid out in front of you, forcing you to choose one. It wasn't fair when I would have to take one and then desert the other. It wasn't quite fair at all. Then again, could I take the two roads together?

Did it have to go that way, though? Are decisions bound to hurt someone, no matter how righteous your choice is supposed to be? Can't I be at least the hero, taking two roads at the same time?

So many questions in my head wrapped me in my own world. Most of these questions were left unanswered. I wonder when I would be able to answer them.

"Bella?" I heard Renee's voice chime in.

I was holding the batter for the corn muffins I was making for Jacob. Apparently, I've been holding the bowl for more than five minutes already.

I continued stirring the batter then placed them in regular muffin trays. "Yes?"

"What are you doing? Muffins, I presume?" She asked. Her face was inches away from the batter, sniffing at the contents.

"Corn muffins. Jacob's favorite." I've said too much. "I mean, I called him over. He said he was coming over. I told him you wanted to meet him."

"Well," Renee leaned on the table. "aren't you a bit responsible?"

"I'm not actually _that _responsible." I told her, pouring the last bits of batter into the tray. "If only you knew . . ." I whispered.

"You should see yourself, Bella. Compare yourself from what you were when you were staying with me and with what you are now. There is a remarkable difference."

"I don't really see what's different, Mom. I'm still Bella."

"Yes, of course you are. You're still Bella. What I'm trying to point out is that there's something you're going through that most teenagers don't experience."

My hands froze on the muffin pan.

"You're not a normal teenager, Bella. You have parents who've split up and you're living with them at different places, and a different environment. That's practically what I'm trying to say."

"I kind of get it." I told her as I placed the muffin pan inside the oven. Relief overwhelmed me as I realize that she got it wrong.

"Don't you think so, Bella?" I turned around and saw her analyzing my expression.

"Think what?"

"Don't you think that living in two different locations with two different temperatures are kind of disturbing? The way I look at it, it's like Forks is a town where fairytales come to life. I don't know why I'm getting that feeling but I'm getting there."

I would _never _forget the way she used to call me her open book. I must have given too much away with my expression again. That's the horrible side of having your expressions read: every time you look at them will make them feel that there are words sprawled on your forehead like neon signs.

"Mom, what have you been doing in Jacksonville?" I asked, distracting her.

She flushed. "OK, you got me. I'm guilty." She paused then smiled. "I've been reading too much novels on mystery."

She was _joking_? Well, there goes my worry. I thought the bomb was going to explode soon.

"Right, well, you should stick to romance, Mom. I think they're better for you." I said, my eyes tight with suspicion.

Renee threw her head back and laughed. "I'm being weird, aren't I?" I could feel the sadness behind her words.

"No. Kind of. But you're just being a mom." I winked at her and went back to watching the muffins cook.

"Thank you, Bella." I could hear the chair scraping the wooden floor, then surprised to see her hugging me. "It's just that it's been really different lately. Everything is growing on me."

Her last sentence shook me to the core. What she said wasn't merely out of movies but I could feel that it was really what she felt. I suddenly felt envious of her. At _least_, she was living a normal, human life. If she—and also Charlie—only knew how paranormal this world is, then I hope they would realize that their problems are merely minor.

"Knock, knock." A husky voice said.

**AN: Alrighty then. Renee was never one for surprises. The skeleton plot of the story doesn't really say that Renee gets to visit Bella. Hmm, so tell me what you think? Review, thanks a lot :D**


	7. 5 Hate Your Golden Eyes

Shock crossed Jacob's features as he saw a brown-haired woman sitting on the dining table. He glowered at me as if I've accused him for something he didn't do.

I smiled at him sheepishly and cleared my thought, pretending to be at ease. "Mom, this is Jacob Black. Jacob, Renee. Renee, Jacob."

But inside, I'm shaking to the nerve.

"Er . . . Hi, Renee. I'm Jacob Black." He said nervously. I turned around, my back to them. I could feel Jacob's eyes on me like lasers.

I faced them again and I could see Renee holding her hand out for Jacob to shake.

"Mom, you really don't want to do that . . ." Too late. Renee shook Jacob's feverish hand, letting her know of his very hot temperature. She jerked her hand away.

"Gosh. Jacob, are you alright?" she asked with concern.

"Yes. I . . . uhm . . . actually have a fever." He replied.

"Oh. Well, Bella, you shouldn't have called Jacob if he was sick." Renee clicked her tongue at me.

"She didn't know, Renee. It's not her fault." He said calmly. "I got sick just after graduation. Some of my friends were cajoling me with being a graduate and all that . . ."

I was stunned. This is the first time I've seen Jacob attempting to humor himself.

I hid my incoming laughter with a cough. "Muffins anyone?"

I grabbed a plate from the cupboard and placed the cooled muffins neatly on the plate. The muffins I made this time were the commercial-sized ones, not the enormous ones I normally made for Jacob and the boys.

"These are good, Bella." Renee commented, her mouth full of them.

Jacob didn't speak. He was still nervous and uncomfortable with meeting my mother in such a rush. I guess I should have warned him.

"Thanks." I spread some butter on my muffins.

My eyes focused on Jacob. He grabbed a muffin and ate it whole. I stared at him. Feeling my gaze on him, he looked up at me silently.

"Don't freak her out with your appetite." I mumbled lowly, knowing that he could hear me. I looked up and saw that he was nodding.

Renee didn't mention the engagement ring with Jacob yet. She knew pretty well that Jacob is all new to this. She would give him time to loosen up.

Jacob and Renee's meeting was practically one of the worst ideas I've ever created. All afternoon, Jacob was nowhere near the comfortable stage even if Charlie joined in. I imagined Jacob being upset with me later on when we're headed to Alice's party.

The afternoon has been so slow that I barely took note of what time it was already.

"Crap!" I suddenly said, cutting Renee off rudely. "I'm sorry, Mom. It's just that Jacob and I are kind of late for the graduation party of our friend."

Jacob suddenly shot up from his chair and went towards the front door, speechless.

He halted then turned around. "It was nice meeting you, Renee. I'll drop by again soon."

"Nice meeting you too, Jacob!"

I took my black bag from the table and followed Jacob outside the door. I was surprised to see Jacob leaning over a Rabbit.

He leaned over it happily, proud of his own creation. He tapped the roof of the car, then motioned for me to get in.

"Jacob!" I grinned. "It's finished? It's actually finished!"

I can't even believe my eyes. I don't believe what I'm seeing, to be perfectly honest. I know that he's been looking for that . . . for that . . . master cylinder for over a year and a half now, but I didn't believe that he would finish it. But here he is now, hovering over the car with sheer gladness.

"It's the maiden voyage." He proudly said as I got in the car.

"It's wonderful, Jacob. I thought finding a master cylinder would be impossible." I rolled my eyes and squeezed his hand lightly.

"Back by ten!" I heard Charlie say who was standing near the rabbit's front window.

"Got it." I replied and waved my hand as Jacob drove away.

"Bella, don't do that to me ever again." Jacob nervously said, his eyes on the road.

I instantly recalled the horrifying scene at home. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh I think you know exactly what I'm talking about." He laughed like he was crying. I didn't even know that it was possible to do such a thing.

"I'm sorry." I gave up and snuggled into his chest. "I shouldn't have done that, I'm sorry."

"Anyway, it's over now." He kissed my forehead. "Just promise that you'd warn me beforehand. I thought that I would actually have to burst into a wolf in front of the two of them."

"_What?_" I looked up at him. "I didn't notice that you were shaking."

"I was. If you were paying close attention, I was. I felt like a kid in a dentist's office."

"I'm sorry." I stayed silent for a while, thinking. "I'm sorry. I really am."

"One day, I'm going to do the same thing to you." He laughed. "Of course I would have to think of a way because you've practically met everyone I know."

"Not everyone. I think."

He sighed. "You're right. You haven't met my other monster friends yet." He was fighting a laugh but failed, he suddenly laughed boisterously.

He continued laughing, his hand hard on the steering wheel. I covered his mouth and kept him from laughing. We might steer off the wrong tracks with his gurgling.

"Jacob! Stop _laughing. _I don't want to die yet." I said jokingly.

He looked at me for a second. When I was sure that he wouldn't laugh anymore, I let go of my hold on his lips.

I looked at him solemnly, analyzing his expression. This time, I was the one who wanted to laugh. Jacob had a hilarious expression on his face, making me laugh.

We arrived at the house a few minutes past six in the evening. There were white, wedding-like lights hanging on each tree surrounding the house. I could see that the party has started, for there were disco lights when I peeked through the window.

"We're late." I said matter-of-factly. Jacob cut off the engine and went out to open my door.

"It's your fault." He was fighting a smile. "If only you didn't ask me to—"

"Alright, I get it! It's my fault. Can't we just forget it and enjoy the party?"

He looked into my eyes and spoke seriously. "Bella, you caused me a week's worth of anxiety and worry, don't you think it's kind of unfair?"

"Unfair on what side of the argument?"

"We're not in an argument," he stared at me. "It's unfair because you were able to meet people on my side easily. When you met Rachel, you took it well—you even enjoyed meeting her."

"It's not exactly my fault that you take urgent meetings wrongly. I thought you'd be used to it by now." I smiled at him. His expression softened.

"I guess you're right but you're still the one to blame."

I let it go because arguing with him wouldn't be anywhere near helpful. We both knew that the fight is over. For now.

Before I was able to knock, the door was opened and there stood Alice. Her outfit wasn't the same one that she wore at the graduation. It was more of a party dress.

"I knew you'd come!" She said, clapping then hopping up and down like a rabbit.

"You'd see me, Alice." I responded. I wound my hand around Jacob's, feeling nervous already.

"I can't. You're with Jacob. And if you're with Jacob or any of the other werewolves, I wouldn't be able to see you."

I nodded, unable to find any words to say to Alice.

When I finally thought of something to say, I spoke. "So, is there anyone inside already?"

"No, not yet. The first ones will come in ten minutes." She said, a smile plastered on her face.

"Bella, Jacob," Esme appeared behind Alice. "Come in, please."

Esme led us to the familiar living room, only it wasn't the living room anymore. It looked more like a club rather than a living room. All of the furniture was rearranged. There was a soda bar on the north wall, bright lights on the ceiling, and food trays beside the soda bar. Somewhere I couldn't see must be the place where the sound systems are. Pop music was being played.

I saw Alice walk to one side of the room and yank at an invisible knob which turned down the volume of the music. She lowered it until it was almost in the background.

Jacob's presence was unnoticeable since the time we stepped into the Cullens' house. I knew that he was still somehow comfortable but his hand in mine didn't say so.

"Jacob?" I squeezed his hand. He shook a little. "Are you okay?"

We sat down on the loveseat near the soda bar. "I'm just a little . . . I'm just adjusting."

"I can tell."

"The scent is burning my nose. I thought I was used to it already." His nose wrinkled. He buried his face in my hair and inhaled a lot of air. "At least you smell like me. I could stick my nose here all day and still feel a little relieved."

"Cut it out." I joked but I guess he didn't find it amusing. He lifted his face and looked at me. I felt myself flush.

He suppressed a sigh. "Really. The scent is too concentrated."

"Sorry. Would you like to step out or just bury your nose in my hair all evening?"

"I'm not kidding, you know."

"Neither am I. So what do you think?"

"Both. I'll bury my nose first then when it gets worse, I'll step out. Would that be alright with you?"

I stared up at him with disbelief. "If that's what makes you feel better, why are you asking my permission?"

"Because you're my fiancée. I have the right to make you feel better."

"I'll feel better if you feel better." I replied. He planted his head lightly on my shoulder and stayed put for what I thought was forever.

We could stay like this forever: hand in hand and head on shoulder. This was more than what I bargained for.

Esme appeared in front of me with a flash of speed. "Bella, we'll be stepping out for a while. Alice, Edward, and Rosalie will be here to stay with you throughout the party. Carlisle, Emmett and I would be assisting Jasper. You know how he is." She smiled lightly.

"Yes, of course I do understand. I'll see you soon, Esme." I waved goodbye. She hugged me lightly, conscious of Jacob's presence.

"Edward wants to talk to you." Esme whispered, barely audible that even Jacob can't hear. I wasn't even sure that's what she said.

I nodded. One second later, I was nodding at the air.

Jacob's slow breathing was a bit intriguing. I wasn't sure if he was heading to sleep or just timing his breaths because of the scent.

I curled my hand in his, holding it tightly but gently. He seemed to be relieved a bit because he exhaled sharply.

"Any luck?" I asked, kissing his burning forehead.

"Still complicated."

"This may be the best time to step out now." I said as I remembered Esme's words in my ear.

"Why?" His head shot up, suddenly alert.

"You're having a hard time right now. Maybe when the house is mixed with human scents, you could come back in." I explained.

He kissed my forehead then stood up. "I guess you're right. I'm going to be by the car."

With that, he left the house. Alice suddenly came into the room, a sad frown on her face.

"Why did he leave?" She asked.

"He didn't leave. He's just outside getting some . . . fresh air." I said, picking out the right words.

Alice sighed. "I thought he was used to vampiric scents but I guess not."

"Just give him a few moments."

She stood there silently. She was as still as a stone but her eyes were hazed. Her hands were clenched into fists at the sides. I knew this look. She was having a vision.

I continued looking at her until her eyes came back to the present. She looked back at me, her expression unreadable.

"Edward is going to talk to you."

"I figured." I shrugged. She sat down beside me. "Esme told me."

"I should probably bring you upstairs to his room. He wouldn't want to talk where Jacob is within earshot."

Alice carried me across the room, then up the stairs. She let go of me when we were standing in front of the familiar cream door that was Edward's room.

Knocking wasn't an option for Alice. The moment my feet touched the ground, the door to Edward's room opened. There he stood, towering over me and Alice. His face was unreadable but his eyes were tight and wary.

Looking at Alice, he nodded then motioned for me to enter the room. Alice pushed me inside his room when she sensed that my feet were out of order.

"I'll be looking out for the guests. I'll talk to Jacob." She said then disappeared.

I could feel Edward disappear behind me as the door closed. A sudden wave of anger shot my body, making my hands ball into fists. I knew in myself that whatever Edward planned to tell me was useless. I thought he knew better.

I prepared myself to face the consequences of this encounter, I could see it all mapped out in my head. Jacob would be furious after this, whatever the outcome will be. I've already given him such a headache for today's events that I'm not willing to let Edward ruin another string.

I pulled on a poker face and faced Edward. He was sitting on the couch, looking away from me. He glanced for a moment in my direction then looked away again.

"Bella, there is a reason why I wanted to talk to you." He started.

A _reason? _What, redemption? "There's nothing to talk about." I spat.

He faced me again but this time, his eyes were of sadness and despair. "If you could please just give me a moment of your time. It's rather important."

"Everything you say is important. You make it look like our relationship is student-teacher when in reality, it's not supposed to be that—"

"Please," he begged. "Just listen. After this, you will never see me again. I promise."

His words sent an unexpected jolt through my heart. Never seeing him again was already a sort of horror but _promising _it was far worse.

Edward sensed my silence and began to spoke.

"Bella . . ."

**AN: You know how much I love reading your reviews so write one and tell me what you think! It brightens my day, really. Thanks guys :)**


	8. 6 Revelations

AN: I'm really sorry if it took so long! Gosh, we didn't have internet for the past two weeks. I'm really sorry guys. I'm gonna post three chapters to make it up to you. Enjoy! :D

". . . I didn't make you come here so that I could ask for your forgiveness, if that's what you're thinking." He said calmly, as if able to read my thoughts.

"Then _why? _Enlighten me, Edward because I'm dying to know."

The anger in me continued to contaminate my whole body. I trembled in nervousness and hatred.

"Bella, please calm yourself." He suggested as my aura hit him in the face.

I closed my eyes. "How can I be calm, Edward? _How _can I calm myself when you've practically asked me to die before?"

I opened my eyes and saw him sitting there, still looking out of the window.

"I didn't ask you to die, Bella." He said, confident. "I never asked you to die. Never in a million years would I have the nerve to ask you that."

"Are you ignorant now, Edward? Did your hundred years of age make your brain decay all of a sudden? Tell me if your brain cells died, Edward, because I'll gladly remind you of all the horror you've left with me."

"I haven't forgotten." He raised a finger at me. "Sit down, Bella, please." He motioned for me to go near him and so I did.

"I'd rather stand, thank you very much." I angrily said.

"My brain cells haven't died and I'm not ignorant. I haven't forgotten what it was like to leave you, what it felt like to find out that you've loved someone else and what it felt like to love you with my whole life. I haven't forgotten anything."

His words suddenly tore a hole in my heart, reminding me of the pain that I've long forgotten. I remembered my screaming, my endless nightmares and the effect it had on my own friends.

"When I left you, Bella, it was painful—more painful that you could ever imagine. You would have thought that I was a cruel monster for leaving you. I could see in your eyes that you never saw a reason for me to stay in Forks. Well, I'm here to tell you why."

"You're right. You've harbored _every _bit of pain and horror imaginable when you left me. But sticking around? It caused me to feel hurt—suicidal, even. It's like you were _torturing _me. There's nothing to explain, Edward. I know there isn't any reason anymore. It doesn't matter anyway."

"It _does_ matter, Bella." He said, the venom obvious in his words. "Every detail revolving around you and me matters. Why won't you let me explain?"

His words shot more daggers, hitting and damaging my heart.

I felt tears running in my eyes. "Because I've forgotten it, Edward! I've forgotten about you and me and _everything _that we've been through. I've forgotten what it was to love you and know about your own paranormal world. I've forgotten it but here you are, reminding me and breaking open the healed wound in my heart."

"You're serious." He muttered. It wasn't a question, it wasn't an accusation either.

"Yes. Yes, I am."

"What if I told you that I still love you, Bella? What if leaving you all those months ago was because of my love for you?"

I showed him the ring on my hand. "I couldn't care less now, Edward."

His eyes widened in disgust. "You're marrying him. You're marrying a _dog_."

"Don't you dare insult him. If the situation were reversed, he would say the same thing."

"I do wish that the situation was reversed." He said, his voice intangible.

"You're a monster." I spat.

"He's a monster too." Edward retorted. "His every bit of a monster as I am, Bella."

"At least he's half human. Blood runs in his veins. Don't you see, Edward, that whatever you do, I will always be attached to this 'monster'?"

"If you were mine to hold, I would have made you into what you wanted. It was a solution, as you said. I would do anything to have you now."

"It's not a solution for me now, it's a tragedy. I don't see why I should be like you when all I get to be is a heartless monster. I'd rather be dead." I said, ignoring his last sentence.

"Bella, I still love you. I haven't been clear of my intentions for these past few months. It has been the only reason of what happened with Jacob last October. I felt guilty, please believe that I did.

"Back in that operating room, when you were reviving Jacob, I heard his thoughts. His mind was in a haze but his thoughts were vivid enough for me to realize that he was resurfacing. That's when I tried to stop you. Out of my own selfishness, I tried stopping you because my only intention was to have you back. I wanted Jacob to die because I needed you. I was stopping you but you had too much faith in Jacob. That's why I left."

I felt like I was slapped. Edward's intention was to let Jacob _die_? After all this time, I believed the lie—that he was good. I can't believe it. Edward's words ruptured my dumbfounded brain, scratching at it until it bled.

A pulse of energy knocked me out as Edward's words rung in finality. "I can't believe you. You're heartless. Soulless. I was believing the lie. I would have never believed that you go this far just for something that doesn't want you. Why haven't I seen this side of you?" I felt like I was talking to myself rather than Edward.

"I ran away because I felt ruthlessly guilty of my actions. When Alice told you about my running to meet different clans, it was the truth. I did run to take my mind off of you, to make my moving on final but I was wrong. That was when I headed to the Volturi."

"To the what?" Edward's last word rung a bell in my mind, a rusty bell.

"The Volturi. The clan who acted as our world's government. I ran to them to ask them of my death but I was declined."

I need not to know the rest of the story. I didn't care anymore if he asked some government official to kill him. If before I used to care then now I don't.

"It's too bad that you were declined then." I stood up then walked out of the door. "I thought you didn't want to hurt me. But this is just too much, Edward. You've hurt me beyond repair."

"Do you want me dead, Bella?" My hands froze on the door that I was about to yank open.

I didn't know the answer to this question. I've never thought of it being asked. Without thinking twice, I answered, "Yes,"

I opened the door and walked out, not bothering at all to know what his reaction will be.

"Were you really serious?" my head spun, making me stop. I looked around and saw that I was alone. "Were you really serious, Bella?"

I looked around once more and saw that Rosalie was leaning on the wall, her eyes glued to mine.

"What are you talking about?" I asked her.

"Were you really serious when you said you'd rather he was dead?" she repeated, her voice plain.

I couldn't find any reason as to why Rosalie was talking to me about this. For some reason, I couldn't afford getting angry with her. It was almost as if her aura wasn't scary anymore.

"That's what I thought." She mumbled to herself. "Bella, come with me."

Without a second thought, I followed Rosalie. We passed Edward's bedroom, where his door was wide open. He wasn't there. I saw his window, broken with the shards of glass on the floor. We kept on walking until Rosalie opened a door on the left, which contained a rusty ladder. She went up and opened a door on the ceiling. I followed pursuit, careful to not hit my head.

When we reached the room above the ceiling, I realized it was not a room but a rooftop. On my right was a large greenhouse and a wooden swing just beside its door. Rosalie sat on the swing and patted the space beside her. I walked towards her and sat on the swing.

The evening mist wafted in the air, making it easier for my tensions to go away. Somehow it felt serene up here.

"It's hard for him, you know." Rosalie whispered, her blonde hair shining under the moonlight. "I know him. He's my 'brother'. I know he didn't mean to say that he wanted Jacob"—she spat the name—"to die."

"Then what is the story behind this, Rosalie? If his intention wasn't to let Jacob die, then what is? Competition?"

"No, it's not that." She looked away into the dark forest. "It's merely simple, Bella. Jealousy." Her tone rang in conclusion.

"Jealousy." I snorted. "Because of his jealousy, he wanted to kill Jacob. That's just . . . great, actually." Tears formed in my eyes. "He's thinking of his own selfishness."

"He's not the only one who's selfish." The bitterness obvious in her voice. "You're also selfish, Bella."

Her words caught me off guard. I couldn't say anything anymore, knowing that it was true. I _am _selfish. Why would I want both Edward and Jacob if I wasn't selfish?

She chuckled, obviously not of humor. "I guess you know the truth now. I can see it all in your eyes. Everything that you're thinking. You might be even thinking why I'm talking to you when I'm not supposed to be interfering."

"Rosalie," I said with an uncertain tone. "I'm sorry. I know that I'm selfish. I do realize that. But I'm wondering about how this all came to happen." Tears formed in my eyes, attempting escape. I pushed them back.

"Well, I'd leave the solution to you. I can see that this wasn't your choice. I don't blame you either. For now, I'd rather blame Edward."

"For now? What do you mean 'for now'?"

"Edward laying the truth was one of the hardest things that he's ever done in his years. I would say that he is the reason for your pain but someday, the wheel's going to hit you.

"When you finally choose who you're going to be with, it will be hard. You can't love one without hurting the other. Bella, you're bound to hurt someone whoever you choose. I don't blame you if you've earned the center of attraction." She closed her eyes and smelled the air, as if focusing on something.

"I still love him, Rosalie. In a way, I do." I peeked at Rosalie's face and saw her smiling.

"I'm not surprised." She exhaled sharply and opened her eyes, then faced me. "I'm not surprised that he still has a small part of your heart. Even the smallest bit. Of course, I'm going to spare you by trying my best to keep it a secret."

"How do you know all of this?" I met her gaze with troubled eyes.

"It's simple." She stood and went inside the greenhouse. I followed her. "I went through it too."

For a moment, I was awestruck. All this time she knew the solution. I knew that somehow she will play a part in all of this. But what I didn't know was why she disliked me so much.

"Rosalie," I eyed her as she picked a daffodil off a pot. "Why do you hate me?"

"I don't hate you." She smelled a rose on a pot. "I envy you."

We were both silent as she walked around the wide greenhouse. The greenhouse was filled with beautiful flowers that shone under the moonlight. There were roses, daffodils, freesias . . .

Rosalie was the one to break the silence. "I was a popular girl back then. I was about your age. My family was wonderful, we weren't one of those in the high societies, we were just a regular family who was neither rich nor poor.

"Being the only girl in my family, I was showered with wonderful things by my mother. She would make me wear pretty dresses and beautiful jewelry. It made me feel beautiful but I only had what I needed on the outside. My core was shattered and broken because she refused to accept her responsibilities as a mother.

"When I had problems, she wasn't around to help me solve them. Although she showered me with material things, she lacked the qualities of a mother. I don't blame her, though. It was my father's fault that she had to gamble everyday just to earn a living. Every night, she arrived home drunk and broke. She was like my father who did the same thing every night.

"My one brother, Noel, set me up with one of his rich friends one time. And so I did meet him. His name is Royce. I loved him dearly and I felt that he would be the one I would swear to at the altar. Like my mother, he showered me with gifts that cost more than our family's yearly income.

"He took me to different places, told me he loved me with every bit of love that he thought he felt. He went away to a trip somewhere south, leaving me behind. I never saw him for one month. When he was back, he brought back not an expensive gift but a woman.

"He told me that I was worthless to him now and asked me to leave. I did so but my heart was sunken as I tried to gather some pride in me. I sought comfort in my childhood friend, Nicholas, whose heart was jolly that he had me back up in no time at all. Eventually, I forgot all about Royce until one day he met me at a park and told me that it was wrong of him to love someone else when all he could see was me. I wanted to be with Royce, my old dreams of him seeping into every thought of mine.

"But I was immoral, for I was getting married to Nicholas in a matter of days. I ran away from Nicholas, leaving our wedding hanging on the edges. Royce came with me wherever I went. Months passed and eventually, we were set to get married. One night, a group of men barged into our home and killed Royce in his sleep. They said they followed Nicholas' orders and it was to kill his dear Rosalie's lover."

Rosalie was distracted, her eyes and voice far away. "Out of nowhere, Nicholas appeared, hovering over me. 'My dear Rosalie,' he said, 'come home with me.' I told him, 'you killed my Royce.' He quivered in his anger and said, 'he was never yours, Rosalie,' that's where he took out his gun then shot me.

"That night, my life left me as the blood disappeared from my being. I bled my heart out. I wanted to die because it would be useless to live a life without the one you love. Knowing that my heartbeats were now numbered, I yelped in despair, hoping that someone would be able to hear us but we were in the middle of nowhere.

"At least I thought no one heard us. When my final tears were now edging out of my eyes, I saw a pale man standing beside us. He was blonde like me, his eyes were a golden color and had cold hands when he touched me. 'I want to die', I told him but he disagreed. He carried me in his arms, leaving Royce's dead body behind.

"Carlisle's venom was spread through me by the wrist. When we reached their home, two of his kind hovered over me. My heart slowed and stopped still, I thought I was dead. But when I opened my eyes, I thought wrong. I was alive. I was angry at Carlisle because all I wanted was to die. I told him that he didn't misunderstand me when I said I wanted to die.

"That's when I hated what I am. I tried killing myself but it did me no good."

She ended her story with a sigh. It must have been too much for her to remember, knowing that human memories were such a blur when turned into a vampire.

"I don't see why you dislike me, Rosalie." I said with confusion.

Rosalie chuckled unhappily then frowned in disgust. "Don't you see, Bella?" she said in a hard voice. "You have _my _love story going the way I want it to be but you're just throwing it all away. You have an option, Bella, and I didn't. I would give anything just to be human like you."

I never thought of it that way. I didn't have everything that a girl wanted but Rosalie thought I had what _she _wanted. There's a difference.

"What do you want me to do? Pick Edward? Because I can see that he's going to be the reason as to why you want my life." I said with an awkward tone.

"To tell you honestly, yes, I want you to pick my brother. Somehow, I can mirror Royce in him. That's why I like Edward, you know—because he is an _exact _replica of Royce."

"Rosalie, Nicholas isn't like Jacob. I know that he won't hurt me no matter what. Believe me, Rosalie, this is _you're _choice, not mine. No offense."

"None taken," she raised a hand.

"If I did choose Edward, how would that help you? If it is your love story, how would it satisfy you if I was the one who was making it come to life?"

"I would want to see at how things might have gone." She said lowly and stood beside me. "I would want to watch at how things would have gone if both of us remained alive. I know that I would be happy."

"If that's the case, Rosalie, then I'd rather not spoil your dreams for you. Dreams are for the ones who created it." I said calmly.

"Did you know that beneath all this bitterness and stupidity of mine, I used to be like you?" She smiled and ran a hand through her hair. "I see myself in you. I _do _dislike you because you're exactly like me and I want to be you—human. I envy you because you—again—are living my dream."

If vampires could ever cry, Rosalie would be doing that now.

I walked away from Rosalie and sat on the swing. I never imagined this side of the story from her.

"Just remember, Bella, that I still don't like you. I never will, that's for sure. I just wanted to satisfy your curiosity." The old Rosalie was back, the bitterness seeping in her words.

"Won't there be any way for you to like me?" I asked her. She faced the dark forest again, her blonde hair timeless under the moonlight.

If there was anything that I'd ask of the Cullens, it would be Rosalie forgiving me. In the past, I never knew what I had done to her. I wanted her to like me but despite all of my attempts, she still shrugged carelessly when she saw me.

"I don't think so. I've tried to persuade myself the first time I've seen you but sadly, I haven't succeeded."

I walked to the door on the floor, opened it and went down carefully. Before I closed it, I looked back at Rosalie who was sitting on the bench now and looking at the dead forest.

"Take care of Edward for me, Rose." I said, knowing that she could hear me.

She nodded, still staring at the endless stretch of darkness. "I will," she replied loudly.

And at that moment, I knew that Edward was now in the safe hands of someone who loved him.

**AN: this chapter is pretty complicated, isn't it? Had a hard time making it too. So tell me what you think, alright? Thanks! :D Oh and take it from me, Rosalie didn't want to marry Royce because of his riches but because of his love for her. I, uh, also created my own version of the Rosalie-Royce tragic story. Hope you don't mind ;)**


	9. 7 Confused

"Bella?"

I ran back to the living room. I saw that half of the seniors at school were already here. How long have I been talking to Edward and Rosalie?

"Bella!" the voice said again. I turned around and saw Jacob hovering over me. His eyes were a little scary under the darkness of the house. "You've been talking to them."

His voice rang in disappointment. "Yes, I have." I told him.

Jacob was silent, staring down at me with horror-struck eyes. He exhaled and then grabbed my shoulders.

"I don't want to know." He whispered into my ear. He hugged me tightly, as if I was gone for such a long time.

"Thank you, Jacob." I kissed him lightly. "I don't want to remember what happened either."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I gulped. "I'd rather not." I smiled at him weakly. "Let's just enjoy the party. Is your nose feeling better?"

"A little. There are pale faces here already." He buried his nose in my hair again but removed it quickly, his nose wrinkling. "You stink."

"What? I do _not_!" I retorted.

"Yes, you do. Over-perfumed, I should say."

A strong feeling to leave suddenly overwhelmed me. I didn't want to be here anymore. I want to forget about Rosalie, Edward . . . everything.

"Jacob, I want to leave." I told him.

His eyes widened. "Bella, it's only seven-forty. Won't you consider Alice's efforts just a little?"

"No," I shook my head back and forth. "I want to leave, please. I've had enough. Please, Jacob?"

Jacob thought about it a little, wondering if it would be a good idea or not. I could see his point all of a sudden. Alice would be disappointed but it was not my fault that someone crashed her party.

Without a second thought, I went out of the door, tagging Jacob along with me. With my hand in his, I towed him towards the Rabbit. Alice stood beside the car, her arms crossed on her chest.

"Alice, I'm sorry." I said, ashamed of my actions now.

"I've put a lot of effort into this," she whispered to herself. "I shouldn't have let Edward interfere and . . . Rosalie."

"What did he do anyway?" Jacob suddenly said, disgust ringing in his voice. "And what did that blondie want?"

"He just talked to her, Jacob. And Rosalie . . . well, she wanted to clear things with Bella." Alice sighed and let her hands fall to her sides.

Jacob suddenly quivered in annoyance. "Tell that bloodsucking brother of yours to stay away from Bella."

"Don't worry, wolf. He's never going near her again. He swore to her that he'll never see her again."

"He better make good on that promise." He spat. Jacob wasn't angry with Alice, he was angry with Edward.

I hugged Alice tightly. For all I knew, I could have been hugging a rock.

I wasn't entirely sure if I will ever see Alice again. Edward's promise of not seeing him also circled around his family. So to speak, I would never see the Cullens ever again.

A tear escaped my eye, followed by another. The next thing I knew, I was sobbing. "I'm really sorry, Alice. I don't know if I'll ever see you again, I'm sorry. I should have stayed here but I just don't want to hurt anyone anymore."

Jacob let go of my hand and went inside his car. He turned the engine on and honked on the horn. I let go of Alice and looked at her golden eyes, taking in the last image that I will ever have of her.

"Bella, you're still going to see me. In a way, you will. I may not know it now but we will still see each other. Stop being so melodramatic." She said, her voice reigning me in.

I wiped the last tear off my cheek. I trembled and suddenly said, "If it makes you happier, I'll let you help plan my wedding."

Her eyes widened. "You're getting _married_?"

"Not soon. Maybe after a few years, after I graduate college. Just promise me that, Alice. Don't leave me." I explained.

"Sure," she kissed my cheek and left.

I went inside the car to see Jacob staring at the steering wheel, his hands straining in an effort to keep it whole.

"Jake? Jake, I'm sorry." I placed my hand on his cheek. I cupped his face and made him look at me. "I'm sorry. I have been too much to handle today, I'm sorry."

His eyes were hard but after a few seconds, they softened. He nodded and twisted his face away from my touch. Soon enough, we drove away from the house I was never to see again.

I looked back at the house, which was brightly lit. I heard the noise that the seniors made, which indicated they were enjoying themselves. Lucky them. I looked up at the rooftop to see Rosalie, staring after us. Her hair and pale skin were the only things that I can see. I couldn't see her face because the moonlight wasn't shining against her.

Rosalie turned around and disappeared into the night.

"Bella, do you want to go to our place?" Jacob asked as we reached the familiar highway.

My eyes were hazy. My thoughts wandered aimlessly around Edward's words.

_Do you want me dead, Bella? _

Of course I didn't want Edward dead. How could I tell him that? I really am selfish. Why hadn't thought about it thoroughly? Was I so wrapped up in his words that I barely had the chance to think of an answer to his question.

Who knows what's going to happen now. Maybe Edward have gone to this 'Volturi' and asked to be killed again—only this time they won't decline him. How could I live with that, knowing that Edward had asked to die because of me?

Jacob cleared his throat, bringing me back to the present.

"Yes, alright. Sure." I said, distracted. I snuggled closer to him and held his hand.

With his hand in mine, I always felt better. I could breathe easily. Maybe if I didn't think about all of this, I would feel better. Shutting out the paranormal world was probably a good idea.

"Jacob," I stared out the window. "Could we escape all of this?"

"Escape what, Bella?" he said calmly. He let go of my hand and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. I leaned my head on his shoulder.

"Escape all this madness. Can't we escape it?"

"I'm not following." He exhaled heavily and kissed my head. "Don't worry, I'll listen."

I hesitated. "Can't we escape this paranormal world? I mean, for once I'd like to know what it feels like to live a normal human life. The life I've had before I came to Forks seems so far away now. I'd like to leave everything, Jacob. I want to leave with you.

"I know that you're not human, Jacob, but to me you are. At least, you're half human. I know that you still are, you can't erase the fact that you used to be when I met you."

Jacob drove silently as we got past the boundary line. I could see the first few houses of the reservation.

"I wish I never became what I am now." He finally said. "I would have loved to live a life which was warm and happy, where everything used to be easy like breathing. But Bella, we'll both have to live through the fact that we can't reverse everything now. We would just have to find a way to live with it."

"Maybe going away for a week is a good idea, Jacob." I sighed. "That's one thing I'm glad I decided on. Now I just can't wait."

"We'll escape it. Starting now." He pulled the car to a stop in front of their house.

The lights were all on and there was the homey noise that I have missed so much—the noise of the wolves. It felt like a lifetime ago when I last heard their voices.

He smiled at me as he saw my expression. "The boys actually decided to throw a party."

"You never knew?" I asked him suspiciously.

"Actually, I do know. I was going to head here after I've tucked you into bed. I guess they were a bit early." Jacob shrugged and started carrying me.

I stopped him. "I'd rather not ruin your outfit." I chuckled, already feeling better.

Jacob donned a dark grey shirt, a black coat and a pair of jeans. He looked amazing in it.

"And I'm wearing a dress, mind you." I said. Jacob put me down and just held me by the waist. I still wore the same outfit that I've worn this morning at the graduation.

Jacob and I entered the house silently, wanting to surprise the boys who were at the dining room. When Jacob and I came into view, the boys became silent, mouths hanging open.

"Well, you're early." Paul said, who had his arm wrapped around Rachel's. Rachel giggled and danced towards us.

"Enjoy the party at the Cullens, Bella?" She asked. I saw Jacob eye her suspiciously.

"Don't remind me," I said humorously.

"You're too stubborn, Bella. Haven't I told you that parties with werewolves are better?" Quil said, his head thrown back while he laughed.

I soaked up the boys' warm welcome. "You haven't told me but I guess I've realized that just now."

"Then let's party!" Jared howled.

When Jacob drove us home, it was fifteen minutes before ten in the evening.

Renee sat in the living room, talking to Charlie when we arrived. She was slumped on one side of the sofa, her feet up while Charlie sat at the other end with Renee's feet on her lap.

"Sometimes I do think . . ."

"Hi, Mom." I greeted from behind them.

Renee looked at our direction, took her feet off Charlie's lap and stood. "Ten o' clock already? Thanks for bringing her home, Jacob."

I looked back at Jacob and he nodded at her. "I must get going." Jacob reached down to kiss me and then left, waving goodbye to the three of us.

"Did you enjoy Alice's party, Bella?" Charlie asked in a hoarse voice. It sounded like he had gone to sleep.

"Yes, I did." I lied. "Most of my friends were there too."

"I'm glad you enjoyed." Charlie kissed my forehead. "Well, I'm off to bed now."

Charlie sat down on the sofa and pulled out a pillow and blanket. He saluted the both of us and tucked himself to sleep.

"I bet you're tired." Renee said as we went up the stairs. "Beaten up by the party and the whole day."

"You can't imagine how beat up I am, Mom." I smiled at her weakly and entered my room. Renee lingered at the door, her eyes sympathetic as if she knew what happened.

"I'll leave you to rest. See you in the morning, Bella." She kissed my forehead and closed the door for me.

"If you only you knew . . ." I whispered to the wind.

That night, I dreamt of Edward and Jacob, their teeth bared at each other. Edward lunged towards Jacob and I felt my air cut off.

"Stay, please." I begged Jacob. "Please, please, please, Edward, PLEASE!" I begged but it was no use. Edward held a limping Jacob, all the blood rushing out of his body.

**AN: OK. Just tell me what you think. :D Thanks so much, readers! :)**


	10. 8 Old Enemies

**EdwardPOV: **

"Do you want me dead, Bella?"

My voice broke my dormant heart as the words escaped my lips. It's too late now, I thought to myself. I didn't need an answer. I already knew the answer long ago but this time, I needed to hear her say it.

"Yes," She said and left.

The world I lived in suddenly mattered no more. It was somehow similar to not caring at all.

I could hear Bella's footsteps thundering out in the hallway. I stared at the door, wishing that she would turn around and say that she didn't mean it. Heaven shut its gates on me. There would be no surprise apologies.

I listened outside until I could no longer hear her but then, another set of footsteps joined her. A sudden thought in my mind entered and I knew that it wasn't mine.

_Edward_. Rosalie thought, acknowledging me.

My teeth gritted themselves together as Rosalie planned things in her head. I could see it all in her head—the things she would say, where she would take Bella, and the story of her own life.

Deep within my chest, an unexpected growl erupted.

"Were you serious?" I could hear Rosalie say in the hallway, ignoring my attempt to stop her. "Were you really serious, Bella?"

An extra pool of venom formed in my mouth. I pushed them all back. They ran down my throat like a raging fire. I stood up and stalked towards my window. Without my own will, my clenched fist punched the window—silently, in a way—shattering the glass into a million pieces. I jumped out and ran towards dark forest, unsure of myself.

I could still hear Rosalie's thoughts. I could see Bella's face in her head, all of Bella's thoughts scribbled across her forehead like neon signs.

My mind was silent as I ran farther away from the house. I ran in circles across Forks, careful not to get past the boundary line. My thoughts wandered to every bit of memory I held on to.

The conscience in my head screamed at me endlessly. I could see the devil in my thoughts snickering and smiling in triumph. So I must have satisfied him. Now what? If I have turned into a real monster, what do I get in return? A foolish life?

She meant it. Bella meant her words.

I knew her better. If she was lying, I would know. I didn't need to read her mind to know that she was lying. Picturing her expression, there was no trace of lie when she said she wanted me dead.

_It's too bad that you were declined, then. _

Her words shattered everything in me and the next thing I knew, I could see nothing but the words she'd said.

How could I be so selfish? Bella was right. I _am _a monster—heartless and cruel. I am what I should be—a monster who had no value for human life. There was nothing that could ever change what I am. Nothing.

My hands hit an elk tree which fell down easily under my power. I sat desperately on a large rock, my thoughts swirling like a tornado.

Telling the truth was the right thing to do. I should be proud of that part because Bella was exposed to the truth. It let her know how much of a monster I really am. But even if I have told her the truth, I was too late; too late because Bella is going to be married to a _dog._

I never thought that leaving her would drive her into the hands of someone I loathed.

Why wouldn't someone want their enemy to die? It was supposed to go that way, right?

I should have kept my mouth shut. It was the right thing to do if I thought of Bella's sake.

I suppressed a sigh.

Each thing that I've done had its good and bad effects but if I weighed this down, there were more of the bad than good. I was suddenly thankful of Bella's enlightening. My eyes finally opened to the truth: I was a monster.

Of course, why wouldn't Bella be wrong? I _have _killed people before, I _have _drunken the blood of life and I have destroyed the chances I once had.

Suddenly I felt as if the situation were reversed. I hoped that Bella could hear what I am thinking. I wanted her to know how much I loved her despite all the discrepancy I've caused her.

_If you would only give me another chance, Bella_, I thought, wishing that she could ever hear this. _With eternity stretched ahead of us, I have only one promise and that is my promise to love you. Forever._

My eyes tightened in a peculiar way. It was the way of how my kind cried. I wailed out loud, releasing all the agony I've felt for this past months. Only, it wasn't enough. I would have let go of all my troubles when I die.

I remembered the visit to the Volturi last spring, the way Aro had looked at me with his devilish eyes. If death was the only thing that would let me be with Bella in my dreams—if dreaming was possible after death—then so be it. Death was the only thing that I wanted if I get to have everything I want without hurting anyone.

I stood up from my crushed position on the rock and headed back towards hell: my home. My feet trailed itself towards the familiar roads of towards the house, absently hitting my arms on the trees.

It didn't matter to me anymore if I hit some tree. If it used to matter so much before, now it doesn't. Nothing in this world matters anymore when Bella's gone.

My eyes saw the first wave of lights when I was a few miles from the house. The noises of the student body echoed in the wind, and their scents hit me like a wave.

When I neared the house—nothing but a few meters away now—the human scents were mixed with a wet dog smell. I haven't forgotten that Bella came here with a companion—a canine companion.

Soon enough, I could see myself coming into Jacob's view. His eyes directed to the ground, disregarding my presence.

"So you're still alive." I said to him.

Jacob looked up, his whole body quivering. "Well, aren't you a sadistic vampire?"

"Maybe. Maybe not."

"What are you doing here, leech? Aren't you supposed to be drinking someone's blood?" He asked, his nose flaring in disgust.

"What am _I _doing _here_? What are _you_ doing here on _our_ land?" I accused.

Jacob's thoughts were wild. He thought about being the alpha and the pack obeying his orders. His mind went through a tunnel of memories, all revolving around one subject: Bella.

"Thought I'd torture you a little bit," he started enjoying himself.

Bella's dead face suddenly entered my mind. I was surprised to know that Jacob has been thinking of it.

Her face wasn't dead in the literal sense but it was a deadpanned expression. She was lying on the forest floor, darkness surrounding her. She was unconscious. Then a bright light entered my mind followed by an image of a pack of wolves on the road and Bella standing across them, another dead expression on her face.

The scene was cut off like a dying flame. My mind was suddenly private again.

I glared at Jacob, whose mind was filled with a stream of profanities. After a minute, his face softened. His mind was calm and silent.

"Are you done throwing daggers at me now?" I said with a cold edge to my voice.

"Do you want to see more? Because I certainly have more." He tempted but I shook my head.

Scenes of Bella flashed in his head again. It was Bella crying on her bed and wailing my name.

"Stop. Just stop!" I hissed at him. "I don't want to know anymore than you do, Jacob Black."

"I just want you to know of the disaster you've left behind." He put his hands in his pockets and looked away.

"Do you want _me _to torture you too? Don't forget that you aren't as innocent as you think you are." Jacob frowned as the sudden words triggered unwanted memories. "I don't know why she forgave you so easily."

"I've thought of the same thing ever since." Jacob grumbled. I would have thought he was being sarcastic and proud about it but his thoughts were depicting the same emotion that his words had. "Sometimes I wonder why I've asked her to marry me. I didn't regret proposing to her, no, but it was guilt that I was worrying about.

"It got me thinking that maybe it was just a spur-of-the-moment reaction that's why she has agreed. I wanted to read her mind so badly because I want to know if ever the pain I've caused her lingered in her mind. In the back of my head, I always wanted to know why she forgave me so easily. Was it because it was a matter of—in a literal sense—life and death? That I was going to slip from her fingers if she hadn't forgiven me?"

Jacob was right. Why did Bella forgive Jacob so easily? Didn't it occur to her that he has not only kissed another girl but he also had . . . a one-night stand?

I couldn't find a more appropriate term as Jacob's emotion got me wondering too.

"You never told her that you had . . . sex with this Sacha?" I felt bad thinking about it.

Jacob's face hardened, then turned into a purplish color. "I didn't have sex with her," he snapped. "I only kissed her."

I stared at Jacob, dumbfounded by his statement. What did he mean he didn't?

_Thank you. That was wonderful._ I remembered Jacob mumbling to Sacha that night. If it wasn't their touch that he thought was wonderful, then what was? Their kiss?

"You . . . didn't do it." My words broke.

_That's right, I didn't do it. _Jacob thought, his mind ringing in alarm. _I only kissed her. _

"How can you remember all of this? You were not fully conscious to be aware, Jacob."

_I may not be totally conscious but my eyes were wide and open. They witnessed for me. _

"I don't believe it." I stared at him blankly. "And Bella doesn't know?"

"I believe she doesn't." His eyes sparked in interest at my expression.

"Jacob, tell her. _Tell her_. I know it's not much of a major matter to you but tell her so that you could clear things up. You'll never know."

'_You'll never know.'? _He thought.

"She might be fighting with herself. Thinking if she was right or wrong to agree in marrying you. I know her, Jacob. She won't leave things the way they are without getting an answer, a sensible answer."

The devil in the back of my head screamed. _Why are you helping the enemy? _It screamed.

My mind snapped out of it, letting the devil conquer me again. "I'll still be fighting for her, no matter what."

_Just go away_, he thought. The thoughtfulness in his thoughts disappeared. _Leave me and Bella alone. _

"She just ordered the same thing." I told him. His eyes turned back to me all of a sudden, his expression somber but excited.

_What do you mean? _

"She's ordered me away."

_So you're leaving?_ I can hear his thoughts leak with excitement.

"Don't be too excited, dog. I'm not giving up just yet." I snapped at him.

"There's nothing to fight for anymore, leech. As long as that ring is wrapped around her finger, there's nothing more to fight for." His arms were outstretched, as if explaining something obvious.

"Even if it came out of Bella's lips, I will still fight. I know that she doesn't mean what she said." I said before I could stop myself. "Your sins might still be lingering in her head."

_Well, well, aren't you a warrior? Get a hint, bloodsucker. _

"I am taking a hint." I spat in annoyance. "I'm fighting for her too, Jacob."

_Again, there's nothing to fight for. Don't you see that ring on her finger? She's _agreed _to be with me. She chose me. _

"I'm not planning to fight fair." I said, ignoring his last statement.

"Then fight, leech. I'm sure Bella would pick you over me." Sarcasm was like acid in his voice.

The venom in my mouth urged me to sink my teeth into his neck. I fought back the temptation. I would save his death for later but right now, fighting for Bella's heart was my main priority. I don't care anymore if she told me to leave. I don't care if I promised her that I would disappear from her world.

"I promised that I would leave her—to never see her again, to be exact." I exhaled sharply as I looked towards the ground. When I looked up, I saw Jacob grinning.

_Why don't you make good on that promise, leech? I'm sure Bella would be thankful._ He thought acidly.

"Promises are meant to be broken." I ran as I heard Alice's voice. The familiar scent of Bella wafted in the air.

Almost three hours have passed. The thoughts in my head swirled all the way back to the moment with Bella.

Right now, I felt like I was in purgatory. The persistence I've felt hours ago was long gone. I can't find the inspiration to go on.

Snapping out of my reverie, I realized that my feet were running in the wrong direction. They were leading me to Bella's house. I couldn't stop my feet; it walked on endlessly in the darkness.

I knew that I have arrived when I saw the red truck on the driveway. I could hear snores inside the house. _One . . . two . . . three_.

_Three? _

Only Bella and Charlie lived here. Jacob couldn't be here, there're no traces of his scent wandering around the house. I looked at Bella's window and saw that it was open. Absentmindedly, I crouched then launched myself into the air. I landed on the floor of Bella's room with a lightthud. I was careful not to step on anything that may cause her to wake.

Bella was fast asleep. I could say because she was snoring lightly and she was saying things. I sat on her rocking chair and prepared myself for the eternal night.

"Jacob . . . my Jacob. . ."

"Stay, please. Please, please, please, Edward, PLEASE!" She screamed and awoke. I hid myself beside her closet where she could not possibly see me.

She sat straight on her bed, wiping her eyes where tears trickled.

I wasn't particularly breaking my promises. I promised that she would never see me again. I was doing that part. Now _I _was the only one who was seeing her.

"Edward, _please._" She mumbled to the wind. Her head fell on her pillows. Soon enough, she was fast asleep.

And at that moment, I swear that my dormant heart would have pumped like never before.

**AN: Really, what is going on? Bella and Edward aren't even sure if they hate or love each other. Anyway, let's leave it to the future chapters. Review please! :D It brightens my day :)**


	11. 9 Florida

**BPOV:**

The next day seemed like the extended version of yesterday's events. The same things happened. When I woke up in the morning, the fresh smell of anxiety filled my lungs. Even doing such a powerful exhale doesn't make the smell disappear.

Today, we would be leaving for Florida—for hot and steaming Florida. I glanced at the plane tickets for a while, wondering if I should be wasting it or not.

First, it would be a shame not to use them. Esme would know sooner or later. Two, the insanity of Forks was growing on me. I could use some break from this world, like I've told Jacob.

There was a loud knock on the door, making me snap out of my reverie. "Bella?" Renee's head poked through the open door. "Are your things ready?"

I nodded at her, not wanting to speak. Renee closed the door with a soft _clunk_ then I was alone with my head again.

My hands clutched the travel bag I've kept in the closet; I threw the bag on the floor as I roamed around the room to check on the things I needed to bring. I grabbed my bathroom bag and my battered copy of Wuthering Heights then placed them on my bed. I opened my closet to check for some clothes that I could bring but they were almost empty. There on the bed was every shirt I wore when the sun shone in Forks. Jackets and long-sleeved shirts were the only ones left in my shabby closet.

After folding all of my clothes neatly, I placed them in the bag. There wasn't much to pack since most of the clothes suited for Florida's weather were at the house in Jacksonville.

The imaginary list of things that I would need was running through my mind, seeing if I have forgotten anything.

_Undergarments . . . Clothes . . . Wuthering Heights . . . Bathroom bag . . ._

That was it. That was all I needed. I felt like I was missing out on something but what could it _possibly _be?

Of course I forgot one: the sock that held the money for college. I knew that Mom and I would head down to Alaska to enroll after my vacation. I might as well bring my tuition money with me.

With a last glance at everything, I grabbed my bag and the plane tickets and bolted through the door. I instantly felt excited as everything was coming out nicely. It may not have happened yet, but I could see it in my head already.

The warm sand underneath my feet, the sun blazing, the smell of seawater and the sunglasses Mom usually wore . . .

_Crap. _I forgot my sunglasses.

I trudged back up to my room and searched for Emmett and Rosalie's gift last Christmas. This would probably be the only time that I would use the sunglasses. It was a good thing that I remembered.

The sunglasses were in the drawer beside my bed, I recalled. I opened the drawer and found not the sunglasses but Edward's gift, the cold, heart-shaped diamond.

The imaginary scene I suddenly made in my mind vanished into thin air. Edward was like poison for my mind. Everything else disappeared when I thought of him.

I disregarded the diamond and pushed it aside, continuing the search for my glasses. Soon enough, I saw it in its casing, waiting to be used. I placed it in my bag and then went down the stairs.

My clumsiness never left me. Never.

Because of hurrying, my right foot slipped on the dewy floor, causing me to slide all the way down to the last step.

Ow. I touched my bottom just to check. _Ow. _Yep, it's hurt.

I walked like an imbecile towards the living room where Mom's stuff was. I saw her sitting on the sofa with Charlie, her feet mounted on Charlie's lap like last night. It was eerie to see them that way. It's awkward, in a way.

"Bella, are you alright?" Renee's alarmed voice filled the room. She tried standing up but Charlie stopped her.

He grabbed her by the hand. Again, it was eerie. "Get used to it, Renee. She's always been really clumsy." He rolled his eyes and laughed. Somehow, Charlie's sarcastic cold shoulder was a relief. I disliked attention.

Renee waved her hand at him. "She fell down the stairs, Charlie. I heard it."

"She's had worse." He said. It was true. I _did _have worse. Like . . . a vampire sucking my blood dry?

But of course, Charlie never knew that. The worst thing—for him—that happened to me was getting lost in the forest on the day of Edward's ill-fated departure. I had to agree with Charlie on that one. That was the worst thing that's happened to me.

"Would you like me to push you down the stairs, Charlie?" She glared at him. I wanted to laugh at Charlie's puppy dog eye expression.

Charlie raised both hands as if in surrender. "Hey, I said nothing."

That did it. I laughed hard, making me drop the bag I held. If I could roll on the floor laughing, I could have done it.

Seeing Renee and Charlie teasing each other was the rarest thing I've seen in my life. All the time, since I was a kid, their faces were so serious when they were around each other. This time, it was like they surrendered and softened up. It felt like . . . _family. _A real family.

"What?" My words were drowned out by my continuous laughing. "I've never seen you like that. At least cut me some slack. You've been bitter for the last eighteen years. Time to soften up."

Charlie looked up at Renee, who was standing with her arms folded. She glared at me. I was wondering if I should laugh at her expression or just be serious about her glares.

"Bella, have you been _this _clumsy _everyday_? Don't tell me that there have been more accidents since the time when you were in the hospital almost a year ago." She said icily.

Actually, there have been a _lot _of them. There was the time that I got lost in the woods, a werewolf phasing in front of me, a bullet being shot that had my name on it . . . There were many more where they came from.

"No, Mom." I lied. "That was the last time."

When I was sure Renee wasn't listening, I peeked sideways at Charlie and winked at him. He chuckled. Renee looked at him and he instantly silenced. The matriarchal air to my Mom was quite troubling when provoked.

"Renee, seriously, cut it out." Charlie slapped Renee's back. She winced in pain.

"_I'd _like to cut your head off." She hissed. "Charlie, if you continue letting Bella slip up everyday, then so help me I will take her away from you."

"Mom, that's not really necessary . . ." I trailed off as I watched Charlie's amused expression.

"Hey, talk to the kid. Not me." he said, a smile playing on the corner of his lips. "She's the one wondering around the woods . . . oops."

I glared at him.

"You've been walking in the woods." It was neither an accusation nor a question. "Bella . . ." Renee trailed off.

A heavy knock on the door saved me from the terror I felt for Renee right now. I knew that it could only be one person behind that door: Jacob.

Without a second thought, I rushed past Renee and darted for the door. I opened the door and felt the life of me knocked out.

There stood Jacob, donning a light blue button-down shirt over a pair of faded jeans. He had a black jacket in one hand and a bag on the other. He ran a hand over his shiny hair, which glistened even on a cloudy day.

Something tells me that he's being different.

"Hi," he bent forward so our foreheads touched. "Can I come in?"

I smiled and kissed his cheek. "Sure."

Jacob walked inside and closed the door. We walked towards where Renee and Charlie where. Renee was sitting on the loveseat while Charlie sat on one end of the sofa across Renee.

"Jacob!" Charlie's face was suddenly lit. "You're a bit early."

I glanced on the wall clock and saw that Jacob wasn't early. He was on time. "Dad, Jacob's not late . . ."

"Ah," he followed my gaze. "yeah, I guess you're right."

Renee stood and grabbed her bag off the floor. "We'll talk on the phone, Charlie."—glare—"Because right now, I've got two kids to actually _take care_ of."

Charlie laughed at her. "You're overreacting. You always do."

Renee headed for the door and went outside.

"Mom," I shouted after her. "Dad's going to take us to the airport, remember?"

Her head poked through the open door. "Oh yes . . . I remember."

"Growing old has its effects." Charlie sighed and passed Renee, whose head was still poking through the door. She slapped Charlie on the arm.

When they were gone and outside, I took my bag and walked out with my arm entwined with Jacob's. We walked silently but I could feel that he was itching to know.

"What was that all about?" he asked. I looked up at him and saw his brows furrow.

"I'll tell you about it later in the car." I giggled and pulled him closer to me.

Renee took my bag and placed it in the trunk of Charlie's cruiser. Before she could take Jacob's, he took three strides to her side and placed his bag too. Renee sat in front of the car, with me and Jacob sitting in the back.

"All ready? Nothing forgotten?" Charlie asked.

"Plane tickets ready, Bella?" Renee's voice was distracted.

"Yes." I answered to both of them.

The car ride to Seattle's airport was frustrating. It was raining when we arrived at Port Angeles and it seemed like the rain followed us all the way to Seattle. Traffic greeted us as the first few buildings in the city came into view.

I leaned sideways on Jacob, hoping that I would somehow calm down. "This is frustrating." I clutched onto the jacket he now wore.

"I could tell." he answered, his head hung low as if asleep. "You've been telling me for the past ten minutes."

I looked up at Jacob and met his gaze. My right hand rested on his chest, my head on his shoulder. In times like this, I wish I could just hold onto him forever.

"Sorry. The cold makes it a bit frustrating too." An unexpected shiver went down my spine.

Jacob removed his jacket and placed it on me then hugged me. "That's what werewolves are for." He whispered in my ear.

His jacket and his warmth instantly made me feel better. "Thanks Jake." I kissed his neck.

"Sure. Anytime." He rested his head on mine as he hugged me, keeping me warm. "You should've brought a jacket."

"I've got one already." I said, making it obvious for him to guess.

"Ah," he realized. "me being the jacket-type boyfriend."

"Fiancé." I corrected.

"Right." He whispered and kissed the top of my head. "I still can't believe it though."

"Believe what?"

"That we're getting married. Me being married to you . . ."

"Oh," I sighed. "do you regret asking it?"

"No! Of course I don't." he retorted. "It's just that I can't believe it all happened so fast. I remember the day that you brought the bikes as scrap metal. I remember the day that you looked like a zombie." He chuckled.

A cuddled closer to him. "Hmm, don't remind me."

"I can't believe it, really. I wish we could just slow the time. You know, just to make everything worthwhile."

My mind was silenced by his words. Behind it all, one term flashed in my memory even though it wasn't what Jacob meant. Aging.

I fought the urge to snap at him. "Aging." I whispered.

"Yeah. Like that."

Now I really can't hold it in. "That sucks, you know? You don't get old while I do." I snapped, making it low so that no one in front would hear.

Even if I was only prone to overreaction about aging when I was with Edward, it didn't prevent me from holding back the anger I felt whenever it was brought up. Not when Jacob doesn't get to age too.

Jacob pushed me away from him so that he could look at me. "Why are you so sensitive about aging?"

"Because I get to spend less time with the people I love, that's why. I get to die in what, a few decades? You get to live three lifetimes, Jacob!" I hissed.

"That depends, Bella." he retorted in annoyance. "I can start aging again when I want to."

Peace overwhelmed me. "What?"

"I said I can start aging when I want to. But in my case, it'll be subjective." He said with a smirk.

"How 'subjective'?" I can hear the relief in my own words.

"If the bloodsuckers move out and never come back, I won't hesitate to order the pack to give up patrolling. For good."

Jacob knew that that was the only thing that I wanted. It wasn't the fact that I wanted the Cullens to leave Forks but it was the fact that I wanted to grow old _with _Jacob—in a literal sense.

"You'd do that?" I whispered and looked at him.

"Yes. For you, I would." He held my hand and played with the ring again.

"Can't you stop even if the Cullens are still here?"

"No." he said icily. "I can't let those leeches go around the Olympic Peninsula without any of us protecting La Push."

"Why?" My voice suddenly turned dry. Jacob's tone meant to infer something more.

"We're here." Renee said in a hoarse voice.

**AN: Jacob's just really stubborn about getting the Cullens out of the La Push and Forks, isn't he? It's up to the point of making a deal of his time with Bella. Tsk. **_**Aging. **_


	12. 10 Warm Welcome

Renee has been arguing for the past fifteen minutes with the ladies behind the airport counter. She was arguing for the fact that none of them could give her a seat with us on the first class area of the plane. They said that it was all full.

And to top it all off, she made them call the manager which is completely unnecessary.

It was unlike Renee to act like this. I know for a fact that she is a very calm woman even in the toughest of times. Times such as these.

I sighed and squeezed Jacob's hand. "I can't take much of the drama anymore."

"Why?" Jacob looked down at me. He was watching Renee argue with the manager.

"Why? Jacob, it's completely unnecessary for her to do that. When they say that there's no more room, there's no more room." I pointed out for him.

"I like seeing your Mom like that. She reminds me of you."

"I'm sorry? Am I _that _aggressive?" I feel like I've been hit by a crowbar. I couldn't imagine myself being like Renee right now.

"Let's just take a seat and enjoy the movie, shall we?" Jacob said, referring to the hot-tempered scene between Renee and the manager.

Jacob led me to a cushioned seat that appeared at most airlines. He sat on one and placed his bag at his feet. I copied his motions.

After a few minutes of watching the scene before us, a man in a black suit with a phone in one ear approached the manager. He was calmly talking to the manager while Renee looked annoyed for being cut off.

The manager nodded and then the man in black suit left. The manager said a few things to Renee then I could see a few smiles lighting her face. I could see that she has received some good news.

Renee was handed a white paper as the manager went behind the counter. When they were done transacting, she practically danced all the way to where we sat.

Jacob's eyes were closed and I could guess that he dozed off for a while. I don't blame him. It's been more than twenty minutes the most.

"Bella, I got a ticket!" She waved the white paper in front of me. "I get to sit a few blocks from you, though. See, whoever gave you that ticket was really rich or something. You and Jacob's seats are the kind of like the first-first class."

I would kill Alice when I get back.

"Ah," I clicked my tongue, trying to find the right words. "That's great. At least you get to sit near us. That has got to be better than coach, right?"

"I agree." She nodded. "Let's go. The plane is boarding."

I stood up and released my hand from Jacob's now soft grip. Clutching the bag on my left hand and leaning down so my face was leveled with his, I wiped away a few strands of long hair from Jacob's face then kissed his forehead.

"Jake?" I stroked his forehead soothingly. "Jake, it's time to go."

Jacob's mildly bloodshot eyes opened and his black eyes stared back at mine. He got up from his seat and grabbed his bag. Hand in hand, we walked towards gate fifty-four where our plane was.

"Had a nice dream?" I joked.

"I wasn't quite ready to wake up." He smiled. "I had a nice dream, although I would never trade reality for it."

"Do you want to talk about it?" I grabbed his hand and squeezed it. I felt him relax at my touch.

Jacob raised his eyebrows, his eyes far away but filled with a little humor. "I'll show you in a couple of months."

"Jake!" I hissed, suspicious of his dream. "What do you mean _show _me?"

He chuckled, his shoulders shaking. "Forget it. It's not likely to happen in a long time. And it's not what you're thinking."

"Jacob Black, you are going to tell me one day." I taunted. "I'm going to rip your arm off if you don't tell me."

"I'd like to see you try." He teased. "What, you got werewolf strength now?"

"_Shut up_." I said sarcastically.

The three of us handed over the tickets so that we could enter the first class section of the plane. When we got on it, I could immediately sense Heaven in here.

The first class was clad in dirty white and gray furniture. The plane seats were grouped in two. I could see from a distance that the two seats could be attached to form a sort of bed.

Renee started looking for her seat as we wandered down the aisle. I wanted to laugh at Jacob because he was struggling not to hit any of the compartments overhead.

"Oversized freak," I muttered under my breath and giggled.

Probably looking like we were lost, a blonde assistant asked for our tickets so she could lead us to our seats. Wait, she only checked _Jacob's _ticket because she couldn't take her eyes off of him. I guess werewolves get their share of publicity every once in a while.

She led us to a small hall that was a few meters away from the first class section. She drew the curtain aside so that we could enter. I could see what Renee was referring to now.

This part of the plane has got to be the most beautiful of all. It had the normal gray carpet and white paint, yes, but it was extravagant. I couldn't imagine such a large space fitting into this plane.

Instead of the seats imitating the ones in the first class section, cubicles replaced them. It didn't look claustrophobic to me because the cubicles had an open section that could be closed by a door in the middle. It was somehow similar to most cubicles in trains. Instead of a seat in the cubicle, it was a bed that could be turned into a seat.

I guess I could live in here now.

"I hope you enjoy your flight." The blonde assistant said to Jacob but he barely noticed her. When she left, she had a sad look on her face.

"E-5 and E-6." He said, looking at our tickets. "I guess this is ours?"

Almost thirty minutes later, the plane had left the airport. Being high up in the air scared me since I was a child but I've learned to close my eyes all throughout. Jacob held me in his arms before, during, and after the plane took off.

"Have you ever been on a plane before?" I asked Jacob to keep my mind off things.

Jacob snorted. "Of course I have. You have been more often, though. I can't believe that you're being such a baby right now."

"Freak," I muttered under my breath. I shivered to the core not because of the cold but because of the fact that we might just plummet into the deep blue water down below.

"Bella, stop shivering." Jacob's hands wound tighter around my body. "It's just a flight for crap's sake."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I nuzzled into his neck. "Sorry, sorry, sorry."

I could never forgive myself for planning to go to Florida riding a plane. As far as I'm concerned, I'm better off at driving a car all the way there rather than riding a plane. I didn't care if I spent so much money on gasoline. At least I wouldn't freak out like I did now.

Jacob chuckled. "It's alright, Bella. I was just kidding." He kissed the top of my head. "Besides, I'm just an oversized freak, right?"

I chuckled, feeling a little bit better.

I knew that he wasn't going to be annoyed at my antics for long.

I will _never _ever ride a plane in my life again. I could die by the pressure in my ears, die of shivering, and die of assuming the plane to crash any time.

"Bella?" Renee's lips were near my ear. "Honey, are you alright?"

Renee and Jacob were walking down the marble clad floor of Florida's airport. Both of their hands were clutched around mine. I'm not even sure if I was walking or they were just dragging me.

"Jetlag." Jacob said to Renee. "She wouldn't stop jumping up and down on the plane."

I couldn't remember what happened after that but the next thing I knew, Renee's hand disappeared around mine. Only Jacob supported me as we reached the outside of the airport. Renee ran into Phil's arms and suddenly kissed, making me look away to give them some privacy.

Phil and Jacob placed our luggage into the back of Phil's car. Renee had gunshot again and we were stuck at the back of Phil's small car.

The ride towards the home in Jacksonville was pretty fast. Phil's driving was almost as insane as Jacob's so it took half the time to get there.

I was pretty warmed up by Florida's temperature by the time we arrived. Beads of sweat traveled down the nape of my neck. Soon enough, I was avoiding Jacob's hot temperature.

"Jake," I whined as he put his arm around mine. "too hot."

"Sorry." He withdrew his arm to wrap it around himself.

For once, I felt bad for Jacob. I had limited contact with him because of the temperature.

Damn the heat. Damn it, damn it, damn it.

As we pulled around the curb, I saw the house that Renee has been bragging about in her e-mails. Indeed, it was in front of a beach and had the most welcoming colors painted on it.

The house was a simple red and white with a lawn on the front. There was a mailbox and a wide porch. The porch had a rocking chair which was similar to mine, only bigger. There was a hammock hanging beside the rocking chair. Plant pots were on occasional places outside the house.

Renee didn't really have a green thumb but I'd like to see her try and earn one. It would be nice and she'd look like a normal mother for a change.

When we entered the house, it was so much like our house before. My pictures as a baby were hung everywhere, including pictures of Renee and Phil.

"Now then," Renee lifted her sunglasses once she met us inside. "You have your own room, Bella, sweetie. Just like before. You're staying there. Jacob?"

Jacob tore his eyes away from a picture of me sitting and making a sand castle. "I'm sorry but we don't have a guest room. I trust you enough so I'm allowing you to sleep in Bella's room." Renee raised her eyebrows.

I could see the excitement on Jacob's face. But it was ruined by the next words coming out of Renee's mouth.

"Provided," she raised a finger. "That you sleep on the pull-out bed. I'd allow you to sleep on Bella's bed if you're married." Her eyes flashed down to the ring on my finger then she smiled.

Being all too familiar and settled, I rushed up the stairs and entered the first door on my right. Sure enough, it was my room in there.

Every piece of furniture I had was in the same order. It was like I was visiting a replica of my room.

My closet was still filled with summer clothes, the books were on the shelves where they're supposed to be and the lamp on my bedside was still there. The only thing that changed was the computer. The junky computer I had back then was nowhere in sight and it was now replaced by a Mac.

I avoided touching the computer during the time we unpacked. Mainly because I might damage a part of it before I even got a chance to use it. Nowadays, I wasn't only a magnet for danger but I was also a frenzied hammer destroying everything even with the lightest of touches.

After everything was done, I have marked the rest of the day as boring. There was really nothing to do except sit down and feel the sweat trickling down my back. Even with Jacob around, everything just seemed so . . . out of place.

How could I have lived in this world? It was quiet and serene, the opposite of what I wanted. I knew in myself that I wanted some peace but this was somehow just too much. Someone must have misunderstood my wishes.

"Jacob?" I called out as I curled up on the rocking chair by the porch.

Jake was lying down on the hammock that tempted to give away soon if he was going to stay longer in it. "Yeah?"

"I'm bored." I said as I watched a few kids skate down the pavement. "I'm dead bored."

"You're just saying that because you can't find anything to do."

I snorted. "Jake, isn't that kind of the reason as to _why _I told you I'm bored?"

"Keeping my mouth shut, ma'am." He saluted then zipped his mouth and threw the invisible key.

"I just can't find anything to do." I walked over to the hammock where Jacob was and joined him. I playfully unzipped his mouth. "I should have brought a few more werewolves."

"And what? You're going to make them patrol over here?" He laughed. I leaned on his bare chest that glistened in sweat.

"If that could put some more life into Florida, then yes, I would ask them to patrol."

"Bella, there aren't any vampires over here." He stated. I wonder if he would like it here considering there aren't any "leeches" for him to watch out for.

"I know." I whispered as I watch the waves roll out onto the pristine sand on the other side of the road. "You could join the contest here. Florida's Biggest Mutt."

Jacob looked at me with sarcastically torturing eyes. "I want to laugh but you'll just pout so I'm keeping my mouth shut."

"It's no help." I wiped the sweat on my neck. "You told me already."

"What are we doing anyway?" He asked then looked at the clouds.

"I wanted to ask that question too."

"How could you live in this place if you can't even find anything to do?" He pried. He knew that boredom was striking me at all sides.

"What are you trying to say?"

"Answer my questions first." He smirked then pinched my cheeks lightly.

"Maybe I was just a zombie all through out my eighteen years in living here."

Jacob got up and kissed my forehead. "Maybe."

I wobbled on the hammock but managed to regain my balance. "Where are you going?"

Jacob's hand was on the edge of the door. His head was poking out to answer my question. "We're going to the beach."

**AN: If it wasn't that good, tell me. Yeah, I know. It's kind of boring but I think you'd want to read the next chapter. I've got to be insane about where I'm leading this story. **


	13. 11 The Choice

"You've got to be wearing the worst attire in your whole life." Renee said, her hands on her hips as she analyzed me. "You're in Florida; you have a nice body, _flaunt it!_"

"Mom," I groaned. "What's wrong with wearing a one-piece bathing suit, shorts and a tank top?"

"Everything's wrong!" She waved her hands in the air. I tried to stop myself from chuckling. "God, Bella, I should've paid attention to you before. You can't wear that!"

My mother suddenly looked like Alice. "What should I wear then? I don't have any interesting pieces of clothing, you know."

"Here." She grabbed a white cloth that was sitting on a chair. "Remove the tank top and just wear this. The shorts and suit are alright."

"You do know that I don't have any plan to swim, right?" I squeaked as I removed the tank top. "I'm just wearing this for the sake of the heat."

I held the white garment that Renee handed me in between my fingers. It was rough and long-sleeved. It was one of those types of clothing that were intended to be worn on the beach. The cloth was white and loose. When I wore it, the sleeves barely touched my skin due to the looseness.

For the first time, I actually liked it.

"Thanks Mom." I said as I turned in front of the mirror. My curly hair actually fell nicely down to my sides.

"You look pretty." Phil complimented as he entered my room. "Renee, have you seen my baseball cap?"

"Thanks Phil." I grabbed my sunglasses and headed for the door.

"Haven't seen it, honey. . ." I heard Renee say to Phil. "Maybe you left it in the car?"

I trudged down the stairs, careful not to slip like I did in Forks. Suddenly, an image of Forks hit me.

Hitting me like a wave, I realized how much I missed Forks. I missed the cold, Dad, and my friends. Florida and the Olympic Peninsula felt like two different worlds because it seemed that they had nothing in common. Even the things that happen are different.

In First Beach, you wouldn't really see kids lying on the sandy beach as the sun hid beneath the thick clouds. In First Beach, the rocks were of different colors unlike here in Florida where it all looked so plain and dusty. And in First Beach, there was that special fallen tree that symbolized me and Jake's friendship.

"What are you thinking?" Jacob asked me as we walked down not on solid ground but sand.

I hadn't realized that we already reached the beach.

I turned my head to the sound of the waves, letting it soothe me. "I was comparing the hot to cold."

Jacob sounded like he was offended by my answer. "Hot and cold?"

My mind suddenly reminded me of Jacob and Edward. "No, I mean . . . Florida and the Olympic Peninsula. More like Florida and First Beach."

"Oh," I heard him say but my head was still far away, deep in thought. "How's it going so far?"

"I like First Beach better. I don't know how I got used to the heat." I turned my head and saw him looking at me softly.

Jacob licked his lips and looked above me, towards the horizon. "Maybe because it's the life you had here and in Forks."

"Maybe you're right. I'm not thinking of that, though." I smiled at him.

His eyes bore into mine as he held my arms, running downward until he reached my hands. "Why not?"

"Because it's not really something to ponder about." I explained.

Jacob nodded and continued walking. We walked near shore so that our feet were already soaking wet. I noticed the people around us, most of them staring at Jacob.

Who wouldn't stare at Jacob, though? He had a perfect body which he shows off every chance he got. What wouldn't men give to have his body? And what wouldn't women give to have him? For the first time, I realized that I was lucky.

I chuckled.

To me, though, I never saw Jacob that way. He was my best friend and I love him. All of his physical attributes went by me unnoticed. I do admit in myself that he's beautiful. But he's my best friend. Everything changes with friendship.

Jacob snorted as if he read my mind. "What's so funny?"

I let my hair fall forward so it covered my face. I felt my cheeks flame. "People around us."

"So?"

"They're staring at you." I admitted. "You should've seen a group of girls. Their jaws dropped in awe." I wore my sunglasses as a sudden flash of sunlight hit me.

"Hmm," Jacob innocently shrugged. "Aren't they supposed to be used to that kind of stuff? Men running around half-naked, I mean, they're bound to get used to it some day. Especially since this is Florida."

"Jacob look at you." I instructed him, letting go of his hand. "Just look at yourself."

"What?" He looked down at his body. "What's wrong?"

I wasn't sure if he was playing innocent or something. "Jacob, you have a body that most men would die for just to have."

"Just exercise, right?" He seemed unfazed by my statement.

I stared up at him. "If they knew the reason behind your body, they'd instantly want to become like you. A werewolf, I mean. You had that body of yours effortlessly. Without exercise, no nothing."

Jacob snorted. "I doubt they'd want that in exchange of being a monster that tears clothes and shares thoughts with people they barely know."

"You'll never know . . ." I trailed off without meaning to.

"Why are we talking about my body anyway?" Jacob asked with a smirk on his face.

I swear that I blushed real hard. "Nothing! Let's stop talking about it then."

Jacob threw his head back and laughed. "It's too bad that I don't get fat." He said sarcastically.

"You're being conceited, you know that?" I punched his arm lightly but ended up hurting myself. "Ow."

We walked further until there were no more people on this side of the beach. We had this one all to ourselves and this was what I enjoyed. I didn't want to talk to Jacob while we had people who acted like his paparazzi.

"At least I'm strong." He whispered into my ear.

The next thing I knew, my feet weren't on the ground anymore. I heard myself squeaking as Jacob squished me to his chest. His heat sent more sweat down my body. I screamed for him to let me go but that didn't make him stop.

Knowing where Jacob was headed, I shouted again. "Jacob, no! Not the water!" I ended up giggling.

"You deserve the water. You're as pale as a cold one." He laughed then threw himself into the water with me being carried.

My breath was cut off as the water surrounded me. Jacob let go of me. Another second passed then his arms were around me. Already, the water was deeper than I could handle. He carried me into his arms like a baby then made me ride on his back.

When I reached the surface, I felt as if I breathed for the first time in my life. The water in my nose stung a bit but after a while, I went back to normal. I was still perched on Jacob's back.

"Jacob Black! Don't you ever do that to me again." I giggled then kissed his neck.

"Isabella Swan, you are such a stubborn baby." He turned his head back then kissed me lightly.

"Thanks. I'm quite good at it too."

As everything went by with him, I realized that Jacob was more than I deserved.

Jacob and I stayed in the water for what seemed like hours. My skin was tanning a bit but I still looked pale. Meanwhile, Jacob's skin was still a beautiful russet. Was that part of being a werewolf?

I hung onto Jacob's back like a little monkey. Whenever I slipped, I would frantically hop on Jacob's back again. He walked deeper into the sea until the water was leveled to his chest. I could see schools of fish swimming around us.

"Pretty," I tried reaching out to one red and blue fish. I felt like a little girl. "Jake, get me one."

My grip on Jacob's neck was tighter as he attempted to get a fish but I knew he wasn't serious about getting one. I could see Jacob's reflection in the water smiling as the fish swam away from him.

"Bad Jakey." I smacked his head and laughed.

Jacob laughed too and then loosened my grip around his neck. He removed me from his back and then placed me in front of him. He held me by the waist as he hugged me closer to him. I was busy looking at the fish.

"Eeeeee!" I squeaked.

"What is it?" Jacob seemed amused.

"Fish tickled my feet."

He just laughed and continued watching me. I felt like a kid with his Dad but it was more than that. I knew it was me and Jake together. Not father and daughter.

"You're such a kid, Bella." He whispered into my ear as he kissed my neck. All the while, he held onto me securely.

"With a school of fish, I'm always like this." My hands that were in the water chased a fish. I nearly slumped into the water.

"Maybe I should give you a bunch of colorful fish for Christmas." He said, amused beyond words. His reflection on the water was blurred but I can see his face light up with happiness.

Jacob's warmth didn't bother me anymore. I was getting used to the hot temperature of Jacob and Florida beating down on my skin. His temperature eased a bit or maybe it was just me.

"Alright, little mermaid, time to go." He placed me on his back again and started to walk towards the shore.

I pouted and waved goodbye at the fish. It felt so weird to be saying goodbye to a fish. Maybe I'm insane.

Jacob placed me on the sand as we reached shore. I laid back and relaxed as the sun beat down on my skin.

When we got home, Renee was cooking up dinner. Phil was on the couch watching a baseball game. From behind, Phil reminded me of Charlie.

I cleaned up after myself before Renee called us to dinner. Jacob did so as well.

That night, Renee was being Chinese and cooked up some Yang Chow fried rice and a few dumplings. It was delicious. There was also a platter of noodles.

"OK, I admit it," she raised her hands in surrender. "I bought the noodles."

That would explain so much.

Phil raised his head. He had noodles sticking out of his mouth. "I thought you cooked it?" He said with his mouth full.

"I had to give up. It wasn't working."

"Well, never mind, Mom." I chimed in. "The dumplings and rice was delicious."

I helped myself to a second plate of food while Jacob ended up with five helpings. It was a good thing that during his third, Mom and Phil decided to step out of the dining room. I was there with him as he ate his food.

"Are you done?" I asked him, narrowing my eyes sarcastically. "You ate half of the food that Renee cooked."

Jacob burped then drank some water. "Uh-huh. That was yummy."

"I could tell." I smiled then wiped a piece of rice away from his cheek.

I washed the dishes while everyone was busy doing something. Jacob was able to talk to Phil about baseball as well as basketball. It surprised me that Jacob knew a lot about baseball.

"So," Mom's voice suddenly echoed behind me, making the plate in my hand drop into the sink. "When is that ring going to be replaced?"

Alarm filled me. Replace? "I'm sorry?" I turned around.

Renee smiled at me. "I mean, when you are getting married." she translated.

"Ah," I turned back to washing the dishes. "There isn't a definite date yet. Jacob told me that we could get married when I think the time is right."

"When do you think is the best time?" God, my mother sounded like a detective.

I thought about it for a minute while I absently did my chore. I've never really given myself time to think about when Jacob and I are getting married. Marriage just seemed to be too much for us to handle right now. We're both young although I would prefer to have him forever now.

To put it lightly, I can't come to think of myself as Isabella Marie Black. I've thought about it a few times but it didn't sound good if we got married now. It seemed so much like mom and dad's rushed decision. Rushing that major decision ended badly for them when they achieved it.

"Maybe after college?" I said, not sure of what to even think.

"That's a good idea, darling." There was something behind her words. "You're being responsible."

What should I say? _Thank you_? It wasn't such a nice response since I really didn't want to live up to what I just told her.

As I was finishing washing the dishes, there was a screech of a chair being pulled behind me. I turned around to see what it was but it was just Renee sitting with her arms folded across her chest. I turned back to what I was doing.

"So, speaking of college . . ." She started.

I felt my heart pound loudly at her words.

"University of Alaska won't be necessary anymore."

I turned around, totally dumbfounded. "What are you talking about?"

Renee exhaled sharply and spoke. "You're studying at the University of Florida."

**AN: Whaat? UF? She's bluffing, lol. ;p OK, tell me what you think :D **


	14. 12 Nobody Wins

"Mom, what do you mean 'University of Florida'? You're kidding, right?" I searched Renee's face for any sign of humor but there wasn't any.

I could feel the anger boiling inside of me. Renee can't just pop out telling me major things such as this. After every month of planning my stay at Alaska, it all gets canceled with this one decision?

But this decision isn't just any decision. It's a decision that shapes my life.

"No, I'm not." She says, holding her ground. "I've already enrolled you."

She places a long manila envelope on the table that has the university's name on it. I was hoping that she was joking but she wasn't. "University of Alaska" wasn't written on the envelope, it's "University of Florida".

I might cry. I might actually cry. As I take a seat in front of Renee, I tilt my head to avoid my mother's decision of finality. But, try as I may, tears escape my eyes, pouring my anger out.

"Mom, please," I beg. "Don't do this."

Renee's face seemed to have relaxed and warmed a little but neither helped me in calming down.

"Don't cry." She shushed. "I didn't expect it to be this complicated." She almost said to herself.

I tucked the loose hair behind my ear. "Didn't expect? Mom, you know that this'll happen. You know me."

"Now, now, don't put this on me." She said harshly. "I'm actually trying to help you here."

"But Mom, I get to be away from . . ."—gulp—"Dad."

"Dad." She snorted. "Charlie isn't the only reason why you don't want to study there at UF."

"Well, what if you're right? I'm sure you're right. Charlie is the best priority I have in Forks, maybe Jacob too, but you don't understand."

"What don't I understand?" she pries as she eyes me.

I was going to explain to her, for her understanding, that there are werewolves that I want to be with but I guess that would be too shallow a reason.

I didn't want to be far away from Jacob, that's the truth. Also, being away from Charlie would just be a suffrage. I imagined Charlie having to cook for himself after coming home from work. . .

I shook the images out of my head and pushed the tears back again. "Mom, please—"

"Bella," she leveled her eyes to face me. "There's nothing we can do about it."

"We can do something about it." I started for the stairs but she blocked my way. "Mom, let me be."

"Not until we get everything straight. Bella, you're going to the University of Florida. That's final."

I suddenly felt sick to the core. "Yes, okay. I surrender. So would you please let me go to my room?"

Renee got out of the way and walked away without another word. I trudged up the stairs and banged the door, unaware.

Everything spiraled out of control. The future was set but another rush decision took its place and destroyed my plans. I felt like punching the pillow, kicking the new computer, and cursing Jacob even if he wasn't the reason behind the decision.

Or is he?

Suddenly, it all made sense. _Of course_, my mother wants me to study here because she wants me away from Jacob. Who wouldn't want that for a daughter who's engaged to her boyfriend before she even enters college? It occurred to me that Renee thinks that it's a threat; she believes that our engagement is nothing but the same mistake that she made with Charlie.

But it's not.

A new e-mail popped up as I browsed my inbox. The message was from Emily. What was she doing e-mailing me while she was on her honeymoon?

**Bella, **

**How are you there? How's Jake, Quil, Jared, and the rest of the wolf pack? Oh, do tell me what the latest buzz is. Sam and I would be coming home soon. Hope to see you soon, love. **

**Emily.**

Feeling a little bit better, I reply.

**Emily, **

**First of all, what are you doing e-mailing me? You're supposed to be enjoying the honeymoon, remember? God, you're insane. Sam might be annoyed right now. Anyway, I'm fine. Jacob is too but I don't know about the others. We're at Florida right now, visiting my mother. Enjoy your honeymoon, Em. **

**Bella. **

One part of me wants to tell her how much of a horrible day this is. I confide in Emily; I've learned to do that ever since she trusted me with everything. Though I was itching to type another e-mail, I stopped myself. I don't want to ruin everything for her, especially since it's her honeymoon.

A new e-mail popped in.

**Bella, **

**Are you alright, darling? You know that you can talk to me. **

**Emily. **

It was hard to ignore Emily but I'm stopping myself. Right now, it was as if she can read my mind.

**Emily, **

**Yes, I'm fine. Now go to sleep. **

**Bella. **

To my frustration, I kicked the power cord without turning the computer off properly. I feel guilty. This Mac won't last long if I keep doing this.

I skip lazily towards the bed and bury my head there as I feel the tears prickly my skin. It's only the first day and yet here I am, crying my life out as I think about the separation that this is going to bring.

"Knock, knock." I hear Jacob say as he taps on my door.

"What do you want?" I say as I wipe the tears out of my eyes.

I felt Jacob was taken by surprise. "Bella?" he says, alarmed. "Bella, what's wrong?"

His hands grabbed my waist and turned me over. I wiped the tears away from my face as he squeezes my hand.

"What's wrong?" he kissed my forehead and let our foreheads touch. "Tell me, please."

"I'm not going to Alaska."

As I look at Jacob, it seems that he can't take a hint. "I'm sorry?"

College suddenly entered my mind again and my eyes welled with tears once more. "I'm going to study here."

"I can't see anything wrong with that." He murmurs. "At least you're going to college, unlike me."

"Jake, you don't get it, do you?" he shook his head. "I'm going to spend the rest of my years away from _you._"

Jacob looked like I've shot a dagger straight to his heart. "Oh."

Oh. What a very helpful answer.

"I'll come by and visit you." He urged.

"You have a pack to watch over, Jacob. And you won't let the boys think that you're slacking off." I crawled into Jacob's arms and let him cradle me.

"Doesn't matter. They can't do anything if the alpha has got a woman to love."

"You make it sound like you can run from La Push to Florida." I snuggled to Jacob's chest, feeling better already.

"I will if I need to." He kissed me. "Distance isn't a problem for me."

I rolled my eyes. "Right, well, for me it is."

"You know, if it makes you happy, I'll move here and patrol. I'll check if there are a few vampires around."

How can Jacob be so comfortable and nonplussed—at the same time—about this? The distance between me and Jacob was unimaginable. I can't figure out anything about his reaction right now.

"Jacob, why are you so confident?" I mumbled. "Aren't you the least bit worried or angry or annoyed or _anything_?"

He shrugged. "Should I be?"

"If you were a normal person, yes, you should be acting like all of this will end the world."

"I'm not a normal person and no, it won't end the world. Bella, there are a lot of things in life that I can permanently live without and you're not one of those things. I can live for a few years without you but I know that it's for our sake. Even though it will be hell on earth while you're gone, I have to accept the fact that there's nothing I can do about it."

He looked so sure that there wasn't any available argument to throw at him. Jacob was right. It _will _be hell on earth when I don't have Jacob around but then again, this is where the test begins.

"Do you hate me?" I asked him, wiping my eyes.

"A little bit, yes." He answered. More tears prickled my eyes. "No, I mean, not you. I mean, Renee . . ."

"It's okay." I release our entwined hands. "I understand."

"No, no, _no. _You don't understand."

I stay silent for a moment. I dare not speak anymore. An aching lump in my throat threatened to release itself if I try to speak.

How could all of this turn into such a bad day? How—when everything was going smoothly—can it turn into a horror movie? It felt like a dream to me, a really bad dream. But even though I pinch myself hard—hard enough to pierce my skin—I wouldn't be able to wake up because it was real. It was vivid and real.

"Bella, the first time I met your mother, I knew that something will go wrong. I didn't know what it was but it was just a feeling. So I prepared myself for the worst. Now that I receive the bad news, my armor is up and running." Jacob recites to almost himself.

"I _hate _this."

"Me too."

"Doesn't sound like it."

"Yep. But I'm hurting inside."

"Oh, Jacob." I curled into his chest and sobbed.

This is all my fault. If the source of hope I had was crumbling into pieces, it was no doubt that I would too. Why didn't I see this coming? I thought that I've known my mother well enough to understand who she was but I was wrong. I don't know her at all.

"Shh, Bella," Jacob stroked my hair. "It will be alright."

I stayed in Jacob's arms the whole night, knowing that our touches were numbered. Every embrace, kiss, and stroke was numbered. Before I may possibly know it, I would be shipped back here without Jacob.

The pain inside me welled up but for some reason, it was not solely revolving around Renee's final decision. The sobs that I let out was a mix of Renee and Edward. Renee, because of the decision she's made and Edward, because of the promise he made to never see him again.

At this point in my life, I didn't have any other choice. I wasn't handed a multiple-choice type of test, I was handed with one that only had two choices: wrong and wrong.

Every now and then, Jacob would kiss my forehead, stroke my back or push me closer to him. I could feel Jacob falling apart with what happened these past few days. Even the soft beating of his heart seemed to thump slower and slower. Jacob never slept for I never sensed him motionless.

I hated having Jacob to see this. I could dwell in my own little bubble for a moment and find resolve without him but what can I do?

He was in pain and I was too, and it is all undeniably my fault.


	15. 13 Right, Wrong, and Right Again

When the sun's rays entered my bedroom window, I wanted to scream. I would have thought that it was the angel of death but it wasn't. Stupid wishes.

My eyes felt sore when I tried to blink. They felt heavy and painful. Looking at the open window made my eyes even more sore so I looked to my right instead.

Jacob's burning cheek was on my forehead, arms wrapped tight around me. His soft snores indicated that he wasn't in deep sleep.

I stood up carefully, removing Jacob's arms around me. He slumped on my bed like a dead man, facing the bed downwards but his head facing the window. He would wake up soon; the sun serving as his alarm clock.

I walked towards the mirror and exhaled deeply. As I see my reflection in the mirror, I gasp.

The girl's eyes were all red and puffy, her hair sticking out in all directions like a haystack. There were traces of dry tears on her cheeks and a few red spots on her forehead.

That girl is me.

My legs lead me out of my room and towards the bathroom. I brush my teeth and wet my face. I gave up brushing my hair because it all seemed useless; my hair wasn't meant to be tamed for today. After all of that, I still looked like a hag with brown hair and dark eyes.

The thoughts of yesterday threatened to resurface as I stared at myself in the mirror. I looked away from the mirror and headed to my room to see Jacob still on the bed, his snores louder.

I smiled to myself as I thought of Jacob: my sun and my universe. Everything about him was making me feel better.

I ran to his side of the bed and kneeled on the floor. I looked at Jacob and stroked his forehead.

"Jacob," I said his name and kissed his nose. "I love you. I love you so much." I whispered, kissing his forehead.

"I'm sorry about last night." I mumbled, stroking his forehead and holding his hand. "I'm sorry that I have to be away from you. I'm sorry that you hate me. I'm sorry that I can't be with you. And even after all this time, you still love me." I kissed his soft, warm lips.

A tear escaped my eye as I kissed him. I looked away as more of them threatened to escape. I felt my hand being squeezed as I stared at Jacob. His eyes fluttered open slowly and then a tired smile played on his lips.

"I do love you." He mumbled. He looked heavenly by the way the sunlight shone on his face. "I love you with every part of me."

A wave of calmness washed over me as Jacob kissed me tenderly. All my tensions were gone. For now.

"I'm still sorry." I looked down at my knees. "And I still love you."

"I'm glad you do." He kissed my forehead.

When Jacob and I went down, we were greeted by the scent of hotdogs and eggs. There was also some bacon wafting in the air. But as we entered the kitchen, we were greeted by my mother.

"Good morning." She said happily, as if nothing happened. "Breakfast?" She gestured to a table full of food.

Jacob and I didn't move for more than a minute. As I held his hand, I felt his tension when I squeezed his fingers.

Phil was the one to break the silence. "Are you okay, kids? You look like you had a rough night." I knew that Phil was specifically referring to me.

Renee looked at me and then at Jacob but she dismissed Phil's words. "Must be a rough night after all."

My anger flared. She hid this from Phil? She hid the fact that I was resenting her whole idea. Anyway, I was glad for that she hid it from Phil. The last thing that I wanted was to let Phil in on the idea.

Jacob lightly carried me to my chair and then sat beside me. He grabbed pieces of bread and bacon, filling his plate until it was full.

I glared at him. "What?" he whispered.

"Appetite?" I mumbled secretly.

"Oh, right." He didn't return the food. When Phil and Renee asked once, he said that he was starving. After that, Phil and Renee didn't pry.

Renee tried to talk to me about college at the University of Florida a few times today but I just shrugged when she brought it up. I could tell that she was annoyed but it wasn't my fault, was it? I had planned everything up—tuition fee included—when she suddenly pops up a demand to study somewhere else.

I wanted to get out of here. A few hours later, there was nothing left to do. Renee and Phil took Jacob out on the road to some landmarks. They wanted me to come but I declined. The last thing that I want to do was be with my mother. I couldn't bear looking at her anymore. I felt angry and disappointed.

A loud creaking of the door opened, making me snap out my reverie. I looked to my right and saw Jacob shaking his head back and forth.

"Some kid splashed water onto my head." He said, as if reading my thoughts.

"Jacob, how can someone do anything to your head? You're tall and huge."

"That boy was tall. Almost as tall as me. Big kid." He shrugged then sat on the bed beside me. "How's my girl?"

"Bad." I say quickly. "I want to go _home. _My home in Forks."

"Bella," he embraced me. "This is the only time that you get to spend with your mom. Make it memorable . . ." He trailed off as I glared at him. "What?"

"Jacob, let me rephrase." I crossed my arms over my chest. "I'm going to spend all of my time with my mother for the next four years. I will barely see you and everyone in Forks. So you're telling me that I should make it memorable? Please." I snorted.

"That's my Bella." He laughed then grabbed me, pulling me down on the bed again. "Always so stubborn."

"It's the truth." I protested.

"Yes, I know."

It all seemed so unbelievable. The feeling of living with my mom finally sunk in. As my nerves trembled in fear, I tried keeping my body from quivering.

"Bella?" A faint voice shouted from downstairs. "Jacob? The phone's for you."

"C'mon." Jacob pulled me to his chest as we stood up. "You're Mom's calling us."

Emily was on the phone. She was back from her honeymoon and she was calling to see how we were doing.

"Wait, wait," I said, cutting her off. "How did you find our number?"

"Oh, we were supposed to visit you at your house but your dad said that you weren't there so he gave me the phone number to your mom's phone." She explained.

"Emily," I said as Jacob impatiently held his hand out for the phone. "Jacob wants to talk to you. Or rather, Sam."

"Okay. Give him the phone." I can hear the smile in her voice.

I handed Jacob the phone and stroked his cheek. He smiled down at me and continued talking to Emily.

"Yeah, Emily. The pack's fine . . ."

I walked down the hallway until I heard a chorus of voices which could only belong to Mom and Phil. I stood at the door frame, practically eavesdropping on their conversation.

". . . I'm just scared, honey. Did I do the right thing?" Renee whispered, her back to me as Phil held her hand.

"I hate to say this but, yes. You are at fault in this. You should have asked Bella first, Renee. I've heard Jacob say that she planned everything that she was going to do in college. He mentioned the tuition money, dorms, and even her course." Phil told her.

Jacob told him? When I was gone, this is what they do? A bit of anger flared inside of me but relief instantly calmed me.

The least that anyone could do for me was make Renee understand about how much this saddened me—angered me, even. But now that she knows the truth, I can do nothing but forgive her.

Maybe it wouldn't be as bad as I think it is. Maybe living with my mother and studying here was a good choice—even though I had _no _choice. I should just give her a chance, then.

My mind raced at a million miles per hour, thinking of all that this is going to cost me. Jacob, friends, and Dad—the three opportunity costs. I stopped at one thought: where do the Cullens fall in these categories? Friends or non-friends?

_Tick tock tick tock. _The mental clock in my head thundered loudly. I finally had a choice. I would go to college even if it takes me away from Jacob and those that I love. Four years, I can live with that.

I mustered my courage and tried to act as if I've never listened to them talk.

"Mom," I tried to sound like I was thinking then looked down. "I'm sorry about overreacting so badly. I'm sorry that I fought back last night. I've recently thought about it and then thought that it might be a good idea."

"Honey, there's something I need to tell—" Renee started but was cut off by Phil.

"Renee, let her get to it first." Phil looked at me. "Go on, Bella."

"I . . ." Jacob popped into my thoughts. "I will go to the University of Florida."

I was hoping for a joyous expression on Mom and Phil's faces but my expectations were wrong. Phil had a triumphant smile running across his face and Renee had a sullen expression.

Am I missing something?

"Bella," Renee choked. "I would allow you not to go anymore. I could see that leaving Forks would have too many consequences. And these consequences will be a burden for the next four years, carried by you on your shoulder. I don't want that, Bella."

Now that I was agreeing, she was disagreeing. What kind of a world is this? Am I back in the paranormal world?

"That's great, Bella!" Phil clapped his hands together and hugged me. "That's a great idea. Don't you like it, Renee? For years, you've been wishing for Bella to come home and now that she's here, you're making her leave again?"

Renee snapped. "Don't you know anything, Phil? Bella is unhappy! Subjecting her to something that doesn't interest her will affect things badly. I don't care if I will be the one who's unhappy. I can take care of myself but Bella? She needs e_verything_ in order to survive."

I didn't know whether it was a compliment or not but it felt wrong, just wrong.

"Mom, please." I reasoned. "Just follow me now. I know the consequences of the choices that I'm making. Jacob could come and visit every once in a while. Charlie too, so no problem, really."

"If that's what you really want, Bella." She hesitated. "Don't say that I didn't try talking you out of it."

"Yes, Mom. I know exactly what I want now."

"Good. Then come with me to the university."

**AN: Seriously guys, I love your reviews. Tell me what you think ;) It motivates me to finish this story. Without it, Bella and Jacob's love story won't be created. Come ooon! :D Thank you guys :D And sorry that I don't post because my senior year is really hectic! :(**


	16. 14 The Visit

I would have imagined that the university looked like some sort of hip school. A school situated in Florida—the place where the life is at day and night—was bound to be unlike a traditional school decked with brown wood and ancient writings.

But right now, I was wrong.

This school is the opposite of hip. It's traditional, classic. . . just what I like. The buildings are of Greek architecture, the gardens looking like it has been taken right out of the Garden of Eve. When we went inside, I was both frenzied and confused.

The hallways were the opposite of the outside appearance of the buildings. They were brown with ceilings higher than the usual. Even though the color looked like the usual hue of hallways, it had an ancient kind of aura. I wouldn't call this school ordinary per se. The frames of the doors were clad in silver and gold—no doubt a perfect artistry.

Was this a Greek school?

Mom turned right and then we entered a room that was practically inspired by exquisite gardens.

There was a small waterfall made for spaces like this once side and the windows were so wide and open that I doubt that anyone who had a sense of vision can see everything going on here.

"Good afternoon, ladies." A woman with graying hair startled me. "What can I do for you?"

"Yes, hi." Renee fumbled. "My daughter is enrolled here. I just wanted to show her around. . ."

"Ah." The woman nodded. "You may do so. Have you had the entrance examination and interview, darling?" she asked me.

"I suppose not." I manage to smile.

She turned to Renee. "You are the mother of the child?" Renee nodded. "Then it will be wise if I ask you if it is alright for her to undergo examinations and the interview."

"Will it be all right for you, Bella?" Renee asked me.

I nodded. "Sure."

"Good. Then please follow me." She started walking into a hallway near the door. "Mrs. . ."

"Dwyer." She supplied.

"Mrs. Dwyer, please help yourself to our waiting station near the waterfalls. We've got there magazines, snacks. . . . help yourself, please. This might take a while."

Renee merely nodded and stationed herself. She mouthed, "good luck, honey." While I was being pulled away by the woman.

"Oh, and by the way," the woman spoke. "My name is Artemis."

"Like the Greek god?"

"Yes, like the Greek God." She sounded like she's been asked the same questions over and over again.

"I am Isabella Swan." I managed to say my whole name. "I'd prefer to be called Bella alone."

"Okay, Bella." We stood in front of a door with no signs hanging. "May I have a moment of your time? I want to ask why 'Dwyer' isn't your last name like your mother?"

"I bear my father's family name." I explain in one sentence.

"Right. Here we are." I could guess, actually. "You'll be interviewed by Mr. Roller."

My stomach twisted and knotted in anxiety. What if I stutter during the interview? What will this Mr. Roller think of me? I might get SPED-ed because of that. What if I fail the examinations?

On the bright side, I get to study at the University of Alaska if I fail but I already feel at home here. The Greek borders of the university made me feel so much at home that I already blamed myself for ever detesting my mother for enrolling me here.

Artemis knocked two times. Not waiting for a response, she entered the room and let me sit. When I looked to my right, I almost died of fright.

There was already a man sitting in the chair behind the table. He had skin like mine and golden eyes similar to the Cullens. Vampire?

A lump formed in my throat as Artemis left me and this Mr. Roller alone. For all I knew, he might be a real vampire. He might drink my blood but then again, his eyes were golden which indicated his being a 'vegetarian'.

"Name?" He looked at me with his burning, golden eyes.

"Isabella Swan." I choked out.

Mr. Roller stood from his chair and crossed the room gracefully, opening a file cabinet filled with white folders. After a few seconds, he produced one and then sat on his chair again.

My fists clenched as I thought of his real identity. I had the need to ask. Is this paranoia kicking in?

"Mr. Roller, if you don't mind," I started. "But are you wearing contacts?"

He didn't look startled by my question. Probably got it a few times before. "Yes, actually. Bronze contacts."

I exhaled in relief. So he wasn't a vampire though why were his eyes a golden color? Anyway, forget it.

"So Ms. Swan," he started, closing the subject. He opened the folder and read whatever was written there. "I presume that you come from Forks High School in . . . Forks, Washington?" he seemed shocked for a split second but managed to hide it quickly.

"Yes. Washington."

"So far away . . ." He tugged at his glasses. "Then why study at the University of Florida?"

I know that he's expecting an academic answer but I'm not hoping to give him one, anyway. "My mother lives here in Florida, my father in Forks. I've lived with my father but when I graduated high school, my mother claimed custody of me for college."

One hour and a half later, Mr. Roller dismissed me. For the first time in almost a hundred minutes, I was able to breath wholly. I rushed to Renee who was reading a copy of _Cosmopolitan_.

"Mom!" I whispered loudly. She lowered her magazine and red bloodshot eyes greeted me. "Have you been sleeping?"

"What?" She wiped her eyes. "Okay. No point in lying. Yes, I did sleep and this is the _fifth _magazine that I am reading."

"Sorry that it took so long." Mr. Roller appeared behind me. "But you're free to go, Bella. Will you be roaming the school for a while?"

"Yes." I answered him. "Is that alright?"

"That's fine. I suggest it, actually. Here's a map to the school." He handed me yellow sheets of paper.

"Thank you, Mr. Roller." I said as we exited the room. Mr. Roller waved and disappeared.

"Mom, I can't believe how awesome this place is."

"So you're kind of thanking me?" Mom smiled.

"I'm thinking about it." I chuckled.

Awestruck was what I felt ever since we went into the first building of the university. Everything was inspired by Greek architecture. The structures, the color hues, furniture. . . everything. It was perfect.

Even though I paid the slightest attention to Greek architecture, I've found a love for it now. The environment here seemed so far away from the outside world. Here, everything is peaceful, calm, serene but in the outside world, it's unruly and paranormal.

It's not that I dislike the paranormal world but I've grown tired of it a bit. I swore to myself before that the paranormal was my world but it just seemed so far away now. Jacob was the only paranormal element that I won't get tired of.

"We have to leave. It's almost sunset, darling. Jacob would be looking for you." She winked at me.

Today, we were on good terms because of my agreement to study here. I guess I would survive the next four years.

Renee and I headed for the car and went home. On my mind was Jacob's reaction to all of this. He might have been assuming that I will be the one who will always object with Renee's idea but this time I can't help but disappoint him.

"Well, I'm surprised." Jacob said as he looked at the clouds. "I was expecting for you to dislike it but now . . . you like it."

I sat on the hammock and placed my hand on his bare chest. "I didn't expect it. I'm sorry."

"Enough." He stood up, making me near falling off. "I'm tired of this, Bella."

"Jacob, I'm sorry." I followed him and held his hand but he snatched it away quickly. "I know you're mad. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I have to stay away from you. I hate to see it that way. You must know how. . . _hurt _I feel about this choice I'm taking."

"Cut the crap, Bella." His words tore a hole at my heart. "I know that you're glad about this now. You _like _it there. I could see it in your eyes. You can't lie to me."

"Okay, so what if I like it there, Jacob? Is it a right for me to consent what you don't like? Please, Jacob. I'm trying to make everything evenly balanced. Don't make it any harder for me than it already is."

"So that's how it is, huh?" He retorted. "It's just all about you now? Bella, what about me? Have you even thought about how this is hurting _me_? Of course you haven't." He raised his arms frustratingly.

"You know what?" he looked at me in disgust. "You've been acting like this since that. . . that party with the bloodsuckers. They're not coming to see you anymore, Bella!"

"I know that they aren't going to anymore." Tears streamed down my cheeks. "That's the problem . . . I can't _bear_ not seeing them, Jacob. I know you hate them but I can never hate them for what they've done for me."

"Then why don't you go back to the reeking bloodsuckers, Bella? So that everyone is happy!" Jacob walked away angrily and closed the door of the porch with a loud thud.

I feel disgusted of myself. How could I admit to him that I still wanted a connection to the Cullens? Better yet, a connection to Edward? I know I don't want to be with him anymore but why is there a string tying me close to him?

My legs gave away freely under my body. I crashed onto the floor with fresh, hot tears streaming down my cheeks.

How could I do this to Jacob?

"Bella?" my mom pounded on the door. "Bella, honey, open the door."

"Go away!" I screamed. "Leave me alone to die."

I heard a few metal objects clunk together. "Honey, give me . . ." I heard the doorknob twist then came in my mother.

When she saw me, she instantly fell right beside me on the bed. "Oh, Bella, what happened?"

I told Renee everything about my argument with Jacob. With every sentence that I finished, I can see the regret in her eyes but I couldn't find the purpose that serves that emotion. What was she regretful of?

"I knew that this was going to happen." She said to herself. "I've talked about it to Phil, you know. And both of us expected this to happen.

"Bella, I know that you and Jacob are engaged. I understand why this is happening. Why it's this _intense _an argument. It's because you're engaged. I just wish that you would have waited a little bit more before you agreed to marry him because even getting engaged already has its disadvantages.

"For one, the attachment is there. Engagement is like the first stage of marriage. Jacob's obsessively attached to you as you are to him. The slightest wrongs will tick the both of you off."

"But Mom," I wiped a tear away from my eye. "He isn't the type of person who completely understands these things. He can't take a hint. Where's Jacob?"

"He went for a walk." She said then looked me solemnly in the eye. "Bella, are you sure that this is what you want?"

I didn't know if she was talking about the university or . . .

"What?" I asked, confused.

"Are you sure that Jacob is the one you want to be with forever? Bella, you have to understand that there isn't a permanent thing in this world that can hold the two of you together."

_Imprint._

Imprinting is the only permanent thing that will hold two people together. But what do I know? Jacob never imprinted on me. He probably would someday. On another person.

The thought made me shudder then cry again. Who am I to secure my ties to Jacob? Without Jacob imprinting on me, I was always in the wings, waiting for the day that he will leave and tell me that I was a repulsive person and that he doesn't love me.

The next sentences that my mother had said didn't register themselves in my brain anymore. Right now, I just wanted to drown myself out of guilt.

How could I?

"Can you just please leave me alone for a few moments?" I pleaded. "I just want to think about all of this."

"Of course, honey." She kissed my forehead then left.

Before the door closed behind her, I called her. "Mom?" Her head poked through the door. "I'm not going to change my mind about studying college here."

"Okay, baby." She nodded then closed the door gently.

Now that I have gotten my mom out of my head for a while, I thought about Jacob. What would happen to us now?

**AN: OKAY guys. Tell me what you think? :D thanks so much guys. **


	17. 15 Forgiveness

"Maybe you should just leave, Bella." Jacob mumbled. "You don't care about me anyway."

I opened my mouth to speak but no sound came out of my mouth. Jacob walked away from me. I tried to follow but I felt like my feet were glued to the ground.

"Leave me, Bella!" Jacob cried out.

A stinging sensation ran through my fingers, a sensation as if something was being pulled away. When I looked down at my finger, I saw my engagement ring twisting and turning as if it were alive. When it was loose it rolled onto the floor and followed Jacob.

At the same time, I saw Mr. Roller beside me, sinking his teeth into my neck.

I woke up with a fine sheen of sweat covering my face. The time on my table read two in the morning. My first initiative was to call for Jacob but when I searched for his presence around the room, he wasn't here.

Panicked, I stood from my bed and headed downstairs, whispering Jacob's name over and over again.

"Jacob?" I whispered, searching in the dining room. None. I looked in the porch, living room, bathroom but he wasn't anywhere to be found.

Just as I was feeling that I've lost him, one last resort popped into my mind. The backyard. I know Jacob would be there. If he wasn't, I didn't know what I'd do.

I slid the glass door aside and searched in the darkness for Jacob. Whatever he was doing here was silly since nothing can make him do something.

My eyes roamed back and forth the garden, searching. Shooting a last glance before heading inside, I saw a big mass near the apple tree. I thought I was just dreaming because there wasn't a large anything near that tree when I came here. Some things don't pop up just like that.

Jacob.

Of course. He was in wolf form. But even though I've drawn that the mass is Jacob, I still hesitated. Never did he transform while in Florida.

My feet guided me towards the object then I automatically touched the chunk of mass. It was rough, hairy, and hot and instantly I knew that it was Jacob.

"Jacob?" I whispered. A deep rumble erupted inside of him. "Jacob, I'm sorry."

I sat down on the grass in front of him. Jacob placed his head on his paws then looked at me doubtfully.

"I'm sorry about what I did." I murmured. He whimpered lightly. "But please know that I love you and nothing will ever change that."

Jacob looked at me with his burning eyes. Under the moonlight, I can see his eyes shift from worried to comfortable.

I placed my hands on either sides of his face. He rested his head on my left palm, his ears touching the sides of his face.

"Will you forgive me?" I asked. Jacob raised his head and nodded. "Though I know we will still fight about this for the next few weeks." He shook his head.

"No?" Jacob shook his head again. I sighed deeply then he whimpered ever so slightly.

It was as if I could hear Jacob's thoughts directly. I knew what he was going to say but it wasn't that definite. I didn't know the exact words but the idea was there.

"I don't know how I deserved you, you know." I crawled towards the side of his body then laid there.

He twisted his head so he could see me lying on him in the moonlight.

"I've been too different for you. Now that I've made another mistake, I've distanced myself from you again."

Jacob didn't respond but I did hope that he was listening. He curled himself so that he formed a circle using his body with me being the center of it. His tail touched his snout which warmed me in the cold night.

I chuckled. "You know, you're still useful here."

Jacob barked a laugh but then looked at me curiously.

"What I mean is, at this time of the month, it's always so chilly in the night. Like the desert. So I need you." I stroked his fur. "Thank you for keeping me warm."

He smiled a wolfy grin that made my heart melt.

"That's not all, of course." I smiled at him. "I need you because I love you."

Jacob smiled but then suddenly, his head snapped up to a level above my head. I followed his gaze then saw a room—Renee's room—light up.

My fluffy pillow suddenly turned harder and smaller. When I looked at Jacob the wolf, he was no longer there but Jacob as human returned.

"Give me a moment, Bella." I sat straight so I wasn't leaning on him. He grabbed his pile of clothing that I only saw now near the apple tree and hid behind it.

I could hear the quick, rushed footsteps of someone chanting my name. It was Renee. She probably saw my empty bed and rushed to find me.

"Mom?" I called as I entered the house to meet her. "Mom, I'm here."

Renee launched into the dining room and saw me sitting on a chair, my back to the open garden door. "What are you doing at this time of the night, Bella?" She asked.

"I was out getting some fresh air. Had a bad dream." I explained.

"Oh okay," she yawned. "Just be sure to close the garden door and lock it. Okay?" I nodded then she left without another word.

I rushed to the garden to find Jacob leaning on the apple tree.

"Hey beautiful." He smiled. He wore only a pair of shorts and was barefoot.

I couldn't say anything so I rushed to his side and snuggled close to him, feeling the intense heat he radiated.

"I love you." I kissed his cheek.

"I love you, too." He kissed me tenderly, making my heart beat as fast as a horse's.

"'Had a bad dream'?" he asked.

"Yep." I said as I put my arms around his waist. I held one of his hands.

I could feel the smile course through his features even though I couldn't see him. His cheek was resting on my head. For all I know, my head could be on fire.

"Mind if you tell me?"

"Hmmm. . ." I pretended to muse. "Nope." I giggled.

Jacob chuckled. "Oh come on," he lifted me into his arms and placed me on top of him. He placed himself flat on the ground while I was resting on top of him. "Is it that bad?"

"For me it is."

"I won't get mad." He assured me. "If this is about a guy other than me . . ."

"No, you idiot." I smacked his arm but I ended up hurting myself. "It was about you, actually. A bad aftermath of our disagreement yesterday.

"You left me. You told me that I didn't care about you anymore so you left me. Then my engagement ring left my finger and fluttered away to follow you then this guy, Mr. Roller, bit me—"

"Mr. Roller?" he asked, suddenly alert.

"Mr. Roller is this guy at the university. He kinda had my skin color and golden eyes but he said that they were contacts. Bronze contacts." I explained.

"Oh." Was all he can say.

"I know what you're thinking," I looked at him, raising my right brow. "You think he's a vampire." If it was a question or a statement, I didn't know.

Jacob stared at the stars for a while, thinking. I placed my chin on the hollow of his neck. One of the things that I would be missing was this: me in Jacob's arms.

"Did you believe him when he said he wore only bronze contacts?" he asked, obviously hiding his curiosity.

"Yes." He looked at me funny. "Don't look at me like that. His skin wasn't as white as the Cullens or of any other vampire clan I've seen."

"OK, OK." We sat up then he raised his hands in defeat. "I'm going to leave it."

Jacob kissed me before carrying me into his arms. "Aren't you the least bit tired?" I asked him.

"Nope." He said, stressing on the P. "I'm only bringing you to your room because you look like hell."

"Do _not_!" I protested.

"Do too." He chuckled.

Jacob tucked me in bed like a little girl. He looked at me as if I was fragile, breakable. There was something different about his gaze that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up. It was uncomfortable, to be honest, but I did my best to swallow back the uneasiness I felt. Good thing it worked. I think.

"Good night, Bella," he kissed me lightly then snaked his fingers to find my hand that bore the ring. "I love you so much."

I said the same to Jacob. "You're not going to sleep?" I asked him.

"Too hyped up to sleep. I'm going for a run." He shrugged.

I yawned as I felt the sleep coming onto me like a thick wave. It was when Jacob left that I was able to absorb what he said.

"Jacob!" I jumped out of my bed and opened my bedroom window with a loud creak. I saw Jacob running from the door towards the apple tree. "Jacob!"

But he didn't seem to want to respond because in the back of my mind, I knew my fiancé was a wolf for the rest of the night.

"Bella," a familiar voice called out. "Bella, take my hand."

I felt a cold hand on my shoulder, bearing a grip so tight that I thought it might break my shoulder. I tried to let myself loose but the more I struggled, the more the grip tightened.

As I turned around, I saw Edward. His irises were red. The hue was so scary that it made me jump. There was red liquid flowing down the side of his mouth, fangs showing.

He was so different that it made me think twice. I hesitated whether I should speak to him or not.

"What do you want?" I managed to say weakly. I felt my energy leave me as his grip tightened. I couldn't imagine such a pain to even exist.

"Come with me, Bella." He held out his free hand. "I'll give you what you want."

I stopped short of my struggling. "I don't want anything from you." I snapped.

"Yes, you do. You want immortality." He said triumphantly.

"No, I don't. When I get to spend it with you, I don't want to trade it for immortality."

"Well, I'll be damned." Jacob's voice boomed in front of me. There he was, looking down at us as if he'd caught us doing something terrible. "You're going with him now?"

"Jacob, I—"

He cut me short. "It's okay." He didn't look like it was even okay. "I always knew that you never loved me anyway. I'll leave you to your mercy, Isabella. I'll leave you to your death—"

"Listen to me, Jacob!"

"—don't ever try to call my name again. Don't ever speak of me. Never even think of me because when you do, I swear that I will kill you. You've chosen this for yourself, Bella. Don't deny that you've never thought of leaving me for this immortal beast. You _disgust_ me." He looked at me angrily. There were no words that can match his awful expression.

What struck me most was when he said he'd kill me. I knew his bitter anger but I didn't expect it to go this far. It was unacceptable. Then again, I was nothing but a matchstick to Jacob. Easy to break, easy to kill.

Jacob walked away from me and Edward. Edward's hand on my shoulder was still there but the planes of his face touched the base of my throat, up my neck, until his lips were at the corner of my mouth.

"Be mine, Bella." He whispered lustfully.

"Never," I spat, but in my mind, I wasn't even sure if that was what I wanted to answer.

"Don't deny it." He let go of my shoulder. His hands snaked down my arms and up to my hands. "You fantasize about me."

"I don't," I said bitterly. "I never will."

He grabbed the ring on my finger with such intensity that I thought my finger was coming off too. Edward threw the ring into the darkness of the night.

Anger boiled inside of me. How could he do that to me?

Edward spun in front of me. "Isabella Swan," his features turned calm. He kneeled in front of me and produced a black velvet box. He opened it. "Will you marry me?"

For a moment, I couldn't speak. It wasn't because of this but it was because of the ring. It was so beautiful, it outshone Jacob's grandmother's ring. It had rows and rows of diamonds encrusted on the oval surface.

When I looked at Edward, I felt vulnerable. In the back of my mind, I wanted to answer yes but I thought about Jacob. Who did I really love? In this dream, I didn't know the correct answer. Every time I thought about choosing Jacob, my mind would switch to Edward. I was forbidden to think of Jacob.

I was about to answer when I saw Edward's face disappear. It was replaced by Jacob's face whose smile was so gentle that I had to smile back at him. Edward's face appeared again, an evil smirk on his face. Jacob and Edward's face kept flashing back and forth with a warm smile then an evil smirk respectively.

Edward's face remained and then his face turned calm. I could sense that he was waiting for my response.

With one last gulp I said, "No."

"Well, you asked for it."

Then Edward lunged for my neck.

**AN: Thank you guys so much for reviewing the story and reading it. It's nice to know that many people read this story. OK, so yeah, tell me what you think. I'll try posting the next chapter up soon. Our internet's screwing up. Hope you guys understand. Thank you so much :D**


	18. 16 Charlie Takes It Melodramatically

Today, we were leaving for Forks. Now that our visit is over, I felt more relieved than horrified to go back home.

I woke Jacob about three hours before we were going to leave. . . Okay, what's the point in lying? Jacob woke _me _up when he heard me shouting his name. When he asked me what happened, I told him about my dream.

Of course I left out a few details about it. I really didn't want him to burst into a wolf in the middle of my room.

"Bella, are you ready?" Jacob peered through the door. I was packing the last of my things when he suddenly made me jump a mile. "Sorry."

I felt the creaking of wood and light footsteps on my floor before I felt Jacob hand me my toiletries bag.

"Thanks," I said, then kissed his cheek. I closed the zipper and began to carry the bag.

"No problem." He snatched the bag away from me, chuckled, then carried my bag away with him.

I wouldn't imagine my mother being this emotional. I was only leaving for summer. I would be back in two months. She didn't have to worry. Really.

"Mom, please," I pleaded. "Stop crying. I'm not going to die, you know."

"I'm not crying." She said.

True. She wasn't crying yet but I could see her eyes redden.

I snorted. "Mom, you can't lie to me. You're going to burst into tears any minute now." I suddenly remembered Jacob's hand entwined with mind. "Jake, can you go to the waiting area? I'll meet you there."

Jacob nodded understandingly then left. It appears that Renee sent Phil away, too. He was striding across the marble floor when I turned to look at my mother.

"I'm sorry, honey." She hugged me. "I know that I will be seeing you in a few months but you know how I am."

"Yeah, Mom. Stick to comedy movies from now on, okay? Drama is a bit bad for you. I can see the aftermath it's left you." I gestured to her tearful eyes.

"Yeah, you're probably right." She agreed. "I'll ask Phil to just rent us a few comedic movies. He's also complaining that he's going to go crazy with all the 'cheesy' romance that we watch."

I stifled a laugh. "Poor Phil,"

"How about you, Bella? Don't you and Jake watch movies?" she pried.

Great. We were going to chat in the middle of an airport.

"No, we don't." I wanted to add, "We roam the whole forest by foot. Jacob's a wolf, Mom." But I decided better of it.

"Okay, I know that you're kind of freaked out by my being emotional," she said. "But . . . God, I can't even finish that sentence. Run off to Jacob now, Bella. I'll see you soon."

I hugged Renee. "Thanks, Mom. Thank you for doing this for me. I love you."

"Love you too, honey." She kissed my forehead then turned around to leave. I saw her rush back into Phil's arms.

I turned around to go find Jacob but instead, he found me. "How's my little angel coming along?" he whispered in my ear.

An automatic smile crossed my face. "I'm okay," I told him.

"You don't look like you're okay. You look like you've missed me too much."

"Jake, you're too assuming. But anyway, it's still true."

"If you're sure that you are fine, then we'll go. But first, one second," Jacob raised his hand then caressed my face lightly. When he held out his fingers to show me, moisture coated it. "Yep, you're really fine." He agreed sarcastically.

I wiped a tear from my eye. "Okay, Einstein. Let's go." I held his hand and together, we walked towards our gate.

"Bella, it's so nice to see you again!" Charlie shouted from the car park.

We haven't even crossed the road towards the car and yet I could hear Charlie's voice clearly. His car windows were rolled down and I could see him waving his hand back and forth. I suppressed a smile.

I told Jacob to hurry up because Charlie was clearly becoming impatient. He really didn't want to be held back at a time like this.

When we reached the car, I dropped my bags then rushed over to Charlie's side. "Dad!"

"Bella," he hugged me. "It's good that you're back. I thought I would live with cheese and toast until I died!"

"You only ate cheese and toast for a week?" I felt shocked. I ran my eyes over Charlie. I could clearly see that he's thinner now.

Charlie looked like he said too much. "No, I was just kidding."

"Dad, you know pretty well that I know when you're lying." I winked at him then turned towards Jacob who was putting the bags at the back of the car. "Jake, are you done?"

Jacob nodded then climbed in the back seat. I walked towards the front passenger seat and climbed in as well. Charlie revved the engine to life and drove the car away from the airport.

"So, Bella," Charlie spoke when we reached Port Angeles. "How was your stay at Renee's?"

As far as I'm concerned, my past conversations with Charlie excluded Jacob. I didn't know why, but I could feel that Charlie didn't really want to talk to Jacob.

"We had fun." I answered his question. "Mostly, Jake and I hung out but Renee didn't seem to mind."

I felt Jacob nudge my right shoulder. When I looked behind me, I saw him resting his chin on my seat. His eyes were pained but I wasn't quite sure. I turned in my seat to kiss his forehead. He smiled.

"OK," Charlie huffed, obviously disturbed by Jacob. "So what about college? Did the two of you talk about that?"

This wasn't what I was expecting as a homecoming conversation but I answered anyway. "Yeah, we did. We agreed on studying at the University of"—gulp—"Florida."

I thought Charlie was going to burst into a million pieces. His grip tightened on the wheel and I saw in my peripheral vision that he was turning red. I could feel Jacob's heat radiating off of him.

Charlie kept on driving but I knew he wanted to step on the brake.

"You're studying in Florida?" Charlie said in a voice that doesn't seem like his. "I thought you were studying in Alaska?"

"Renee said that she had already enrolled me even before my graduation." I answered unsatisfactorily for the benefit of Jake and Charlie.

"But isn't enrolment a little bit too early? I mean, it's just June and yet you're already enrolled."

"Dad, I don't know." I said a little too harshly. "You know how Renee is. She has her resources."

Charlie drove faster as we know entered Forks. A sort of relief entered me. I was in my sanctuary again. I felt exactly what a refugee would feel: home and safe.

Dad mumbled something like, "I'm going to talk to her" but I wasn't quite sure if that's what he really said. For all I know, I still feel kind of bad because I wasn't going to study in Alaska.

"We're going to talk later." Charlie huffed. "Jacob?"

"Charlie," Jacob acknowledged him.

"Do I need to call Billy that you're here or . . .?"

"No, I'll walk home. Going to drop by Quil's house. But thanks anyway, Charlie. I'm good here." Jacob said. Charlie pulled up at the side of the road. "I love you, Bella." Jacob whispered when he was turning to leave.

Charlie's engine roared to life as we sped down the road towards my house. Looking back, I couldn't see Jacob anymore. All that I could see were a few pieces of shredded clothing and his suitcase at the side of the road.

"Renee, you can't just rush her into these kinds of things!" I heard Charlie downstairs as I unpacked.

I could tell that his anger heightened now. I could imagine it all; Charlie's face all red, his hand banging on the table, and Renee explaining to him the reason. I know because I've been listening for almost an hour.

Poor Renee. She must've been exhausted of explaining everything to almost everyone. How I wish I could just tell Charlie and Jacob that it was just my choice to study there had I not told them that I was excited to study at Alaska.

". . . just had her back, Renee. . ." Charlie's voice toned down a bit. He said something more but I couldn't pick out the words since my door was closed.

Barely able to take it anymore, I tried to play things up. I grabbed my bag of toiletries and went out of my room. Walking like a spy, I tried not to make any noise. I walked slowly towards the bathroom so I could hear Charlie's conversation with Renee over the phone.

"Don't do this, please." Charlie begged. "You know how much I love her."

His words caught me off guard. I've never heard Charlie say those words unless he really meant it and was serious. In fact, I've never heard him say this before.

"Renee, listen to me," Charlie exhaled. "This is _our _child. I think I have the right to love her as you do. And to take care of her as you do. Don't take her away from me now."

There was a long pause.

"Yes, I know that it's only five years but a lot can happen within that period!" Charlie exclaimed. "What if Bella's condition worsens? I don't have the funds to cross the country, Renee. It will kill me if I don't see her."

My eyes stung as I realized what Charlie has been feeling all along. I've always known that it was just for the Renee and Phil's sake that Charlie let me live here but today, I've realized another reason.

"I know that it will not happen. But I'm just saying," Charlie coughed. "That what ever happens to her, good or bad, I won't be able to know if she's fine or not, if she's happy or sad about that."

I couldn't take much of this anymore. I was afraid that my eyes would slice themselves to let the tears flow. So I ran quietly back to my room and just sat there, pondering what I just heard.

_Charlie loves you. _

That thought was etched into my mind. No, I already know that Charlie loves me (why would he take me in if he didn't?) but not to the point that he'll do what he just did downstairs.

I sat on my bed hugging my legs then rocked myself back and forth. My tears finally fell and I felt the sudden change in everything. Past, present, and future.

"Bella?" I heard Charlie's voice. I opened my eyes and found Charlie hovering over me like I was a caught criminal.

I looked up at him without a word, knowing that if I did then I would lose the control that I had.

"I just talked to Renee on the phone," he sounded unsure as he rubbed a hand on the back of his head. "You're sure that you want to be there? I mean, it's really far from here."

Charlie looked like nothing has happened but I know that he's finding it hard to conceal whatever he felt inside of him.

"Yes, that's what I want." I half-lied. "I don't want to waste Mom's effort so. . . yeah."

He huffed. "You're not answering my question." He tapped his foot. "Are you sure that this is what _you _want?"

He caught me off guard. Charlie knew what my answer would be and that one would cause him serious joy and pain at the same time.

"No." I breathed. "It's not what I want. I want to stay as close as to where I want to be Dad, which is obviously here, but I think Renee thinks that—"

"Don't you like being with Renee?" he cut me off. "I mean, you've been living there for more than 17 years."

"No, I do. I mean, no." I straightened myself up. "What I mean is, yes, I do love Renee. But I just don't feel so homey there. I don't have friends down there. I have Renee and Phil, yes, but they're all I have. Unlike here . . ." I didn't want to go into hysterics so I stopped myself.

"Ah," was all the response Charlie could muster. "I'll leave you to think."

Charlie turned around and headed for the door. But before he was able to close it, I called him.

"Dad, I'm sorry that you disagree with Renee. I just wish that I chose something that would make both of you happy but I didn't. So, I'm sorry."

"Don't mention it, kid." Charlie joked. Though I knew that he meant it literally.

**AN: I think too much about the drama of this chapter. But just imagine if the one you love most is on almost the other 1/5 side of the world, don't you think that's a bit depressing, knowing that you won't be able to see them in five years? YEAH, that's what Charlie feels. :D**

**So tell me what you think, okay? Tell me if it's too dramatic or serious so that I could fix the future chapters. Thank you guys for reading and reviewing the story. **


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